


Gravity

by oneoneseven



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/F, F/M, Mikasa Ackerman-centric, Multi, Pre-mediated arson (see: Sasha Blouse), Resuming updates in May, Titans everywhere, Trigger warning: food theft (see: Sasha Blouse)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-28
Updated: 2014-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-06 14:24:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 34,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1861272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneoneseven/pseuds/oneoneseven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Somehow, she knew – Annie had been waiting for her all this time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Behind These Walls (Prologue)

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! 
> 
> so this one will be pretty long. i'm well aware that there's a oneshot floating around here on ao3 ('Alpha Dog and O-megalomaniac' by ziplocksmile) with the same storyline - mikasa and annie getting into a complicated relationship, and they end up having to fight each other etc. - and that if i dig any deeper there might be some other stories with the same plot as well (WELL DONE MIKASA/ANNIE SHIPPERS :D). so i'm not here to do a word for word repeat, though the premise is about 80 - 90% similar (great minds think alike - and love angsty relationships, apparently). i'm crazy about build ups, so this will be quite drawn out. 
> 
> in any case, welcome to my humble fic and i hope you enjoy your stay :)

Mikasa stood with her back to the wall, and took a deep breath.

Armin was a few feet away, crouched over an unconscious Eren. Mikasa looked up, and saw the stricken look on Armin’s face. His hands were on Eren’s shoulders, trying to shake the boy awake but to no avail.

The tunnel was empty, save for the three of them. Most of it had already caved in, and the bright daylight seemed a sharp contrast to what was happening at the moment. It was too beautiful out there; the clouds were too puffy, and the sky was much too blue, much too nice to look at if one chose to linger. It was a mockery of their predicament, Mikasa knew. It was a mockery of hers.

“Mikasa,” Armin looked up, voice cracking. “Eren’s not – he’s not responding. But he’s still alive. But…”

The Female Titan had wasted no ounce of strength in taking Eren down. That much was clear. Wall Sina was compromised, and the Survey soldiers were scattered – where was Levi? Where was Erwin? Mikasa needed them, unable to trust in her own hands, her own blades, for once in her life.

 _No._ Mikasa swallowed. She straightened herself a little. Armin was still calling out to Eren, sounding like he was on the verge of tears. _I can’t stop here._

Her hands went to her blades. She found no strength in her grip, but unsheathed them anyway. The ring of steel echoed off the stone.

“Mikasa?” Armin called out to her as she turned her back to him. “Where are you – what are you doing?”

She took slow steps, at first. Then she took heavier steps – faster ones. Armin called out to her again. She glanced over her shoulder at him, knowing that she couldn’t possibly explain it to him, and he couldn’t possibly understand.

“I have to stall some time for Eren,” she said. “I have to try and – kill her first.”

“No! You can’t just take her alone!” She heard the rustle of Armin getting to his feet, gear clanking noisily in the stillness. “You’re going to die out there!”

“I won’t.” Mikasa turned her gaze forward. “She’s my hunt now, until Eren wakes up. If he doesn’t wake in time, then I’ll kill her. I’ll end this.” Her voice shook with fear. “I have to.”

Some time later, she found herself repeating her mantra to the girl at the end of the tunnel. Somehow, she knew – Annie had been waiting for her, all this time. She had waited, back then, and she was waiting even now.

“I have to do this.” She lifted her blades. “You – understand. Right?”

Blue eyes glinted with dark humor. But Annie’s tone was injured and lacked conviction. “I know. I want it to be you.”

Mikasa lowered her hands, blinking. “Me?”

Annie took a tentative step forward. Mikasa took one step back in response. Then the girl moved again, and this time Mikasa found no strength to move, though she yearned to run. She yearned to run and hide until it was all over.

A hand came to her cheek, gentle as a warm summer breeze. “I prefer it, actually. I don’t want anyone else doing it.”

“Annie –” Mikasa’s voice cracked. It felt like lifetimes ago, that she was calling out to the girl like this. She hated it, and she longed for what it would bring. “Annie.”

“Listen to me.” A shadow crossed Annie’s features. “This is what I want. If you don’t kill me, and someone else comes along to try, I’ll kill them. I’ll destroy anyone who tries – anyone who isn’t you. And I’ll wait for you to come back.”

“You can’t.”

“I will. I don’t want to be anyone else’s kill.”

Mikasa blinked back her tears. She turned away from Annie, but the girl caught her by the arm. In one swift motion, she was pressed up against the blonde girl. Arms came around her shoulders, her neck. Mikasa relaxed. They had time – just a little more. It was all she had left – and she would not waste it.

“I’m yours,” Annie tipped her head forward, eyes coming to a close, “In every way. Even in death.”

Mikasa touched her own lips to Annie’s, and abandoned her blades. She relished feeling the familiar burning inside her, and wondered if she ever would again.

-

_Feet don't fail me now_   
_Take me to the finish line_   
_All my heart, it breaks every step that I take_   
_But I'm hoping that the gates,_   
_They'll tell me that you're mine_


	2. Rival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie Leonhart was no friend or ally – at the very least, Mikasa saw her as a comrade. But more than anything, it was clear that Annie was a rival, something to be overcome, as if, truly, there were no Titans beyond the wall and Mikasa had nothing else to care about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: i can't write action scenes. i think.

1

 

 _Before_  

A warm gust of wind swept across the field in the early hours of the afternoon, though it helped little against the relentless heat of the sun, bright and also, it seemed, disapproving. Beads of perspiration trickled down Mikasa’s face, threatening to sting her eyes as they skittered dangerously close, down the bridge of her nose. Her uniform clung to her body, unpleasantly damp from hours of hard drills and a full-length run through the forest course. 

They had been practicing hand-to-hand for what felt like eons now, and while the seasoned trainees of the 104th were no strangers to routine and what was required of them, Keith Shadis had drilled them so hard since dawn that many were delirious with exhaustion. With an array of final aptitude evaluations fast approaching in view of graduation, the training officers had all but cranked up the intensity of their usual drills and practices, and Shadis in particular began to demonstrate a terrifying amount of lungpower, shouting himself hoarse with ‘motivational’ insults by the time the sun rose to hang high above their heads, its slow arc of ascent the only indication that time was indeed passing and not standing still, by some twisted order of God.

Armin Arlert stood across from Mikasa, fists raised in a defensive stance as he waited for her to charge at him with the wooden knife in her grip. There was a dull tiredness to his look, and he stood like a storm-battered reed though he fought to keep himself in focus. He had been putting a lot more effort than usual during the past week and it showed in the way his form trembled from time to time, weighed down by impossible pressures to match up and physical fatigue.

Mikasa was well aware that she would be doing Armin a great disservice if she decided to take it easy on him, but there was no chance that she was going to spar with someone who looked like he could fall to pieces at the slightest touch. She lowered her mock knife.

“I think we should take a break.”

Armin’s eyes widened, full of disbelief and protesting. “No! I’m fine –” He stumbled forward, fists at the ready, and aimed a carelessly thrown punch at Mikasa. She caught his flying fist easily, clasping her hand around it with firm refusal.

“Armin,” she said again, and moved to grip his arm with another hand as he swayed with imbalance. “Your body is not going to take this strain any longer. Rest, or else you won’t even be able to take the exams when they arrive.”

Defeat crept into Armin’s expression, and he all but sagged against Mikasa’s hold on him. She walked him over to the side and he plopped down on the hot, dry ground in one final gesture of resignation. He kept his head low as he brought his knees close to his chest, half hiding from the harsh sunlight behind his bangs and half hiding his face from Mikasa, as though in shame. Mikasa lowered herself into a crouch, a little unsteady with exhaustion herself, and clapped a hand lightly to Armin’s shoulder.

“Armin. Are you alright?” she asked.

Armin’s crouched form shuddered as he sniffed with great effort. Slowly, he lifted his face enough for Mikasa to meet his eyes, brimming with tears. “I’m so tired,” he said, and the tears spilled forth without warning. “But I can’t help but push myself. I feel like a burden to everyone, because I can’t ever keep up – in terms of stamina, gear mastery or even getting a single hit on a Titan that’s made out of wood and cloth!”

Mikasa tightened her grip on Armin’s shoulder. “Don’t beat yourself up like this,” she said, a note of sympathy in her voice. “You’re already doing your best. Shouldn’t that be enough, especially for yourself?”

“I can’t help it.” Armin sniffed again. He blinked away his tears as embarrassment colored his cheeks. “I don’t want to be left behind.”

“You’re not going to be left behind.” Mikasa’s voice was firm with promise. “I won’t leave you behind. We’re in this together, right?”

“We’re in this together,” Armin repeated, softer and less certain than she had been. His lip quivered as he drew himself a little more upright, and looked to Mikasa. “We’re in this together,” he said again, a little fuller now.

“Right. You, me and Eren.”

A smile broke across his face, bright despite the dirt and perspiration on his face. Mikasa patted him on the shoulder, returning a smile of her own, and rose to stand upright, turning her head just in time to see Annie Leonhart disarming Eren easily – too easily, Mikasa noticed – with a single technique: a hand around his jaw, though not in a stranglehold, and one booted foot behind his own. She had tipped him over with little effort, the sweeping movement she’d done with her foot more than enough to cause a devastating sort of imbalance; Eren landed, hard, on the ground with a thud, muffled by distance, though it was clear that he’d suffered from the impact. She watched, as curious as she was a little irked at the sight, as Annie tossed the little wooden knife over to Reiner Braun, who stood beside Eren, still crumpled on the ground, with a rather grave look on his face. He looked at the knife in his hand, tentative, before composing himself and faced Annie, brows deeply set in determination.

He charged forward, heavy in step, and brandished his knife at Annie as he made his approach. In the face of the hardiest, toughest trainee in all of the 104th, Annie maintained a surprising state of calm, lips thinning as she readied herself. Reiner stretched out his arm and swiped his blade at Annie with a cry. Mikasa watched, partly in awe, as Annie reached out to grab Reiner by the wrist and sidestepped him, fluid in motion, before latching her other hand to his jaw. Reiner stumbled, caught by her peculiar move, and Annie finished the fight easily with a lazy kick of her foot.

There had been something oddly mesmerizing about her movements, like she had been born to this natural inclination to move as water did, slipping and sliding around resistance with easy grace. No amount of aggression on Reiner’s part managed to reach past that cool exterior. There was no trace of uncertainty as she met with her opponents on the field, possessing all the air of a person used to adversity, and flourished in it.

“Wow,” Armin said, with a lilt of awe in his tone. “Where do you suppose she learned that?”

“I’m not sure.” Mikasa fixed her gaze on Annie’s retreating back, a little distracted. “Maybe I’ll find out.”

After ensuring that Armin would be all right by himself, Mikasa left his side and ventured away in search of Annie. She passed through the sea of trainees quite easily; Shadis was off somewhere, indeterminate, very loudly addressing Connie Springer and his lack of “proper motor controls”. The overseeing instructor endeavored ceaselessly to break his trainees’ resolve, and often left his better cadets alone in favor of breathing down the necks of those he deemed mediocre and subpar. It must have been partly the reason why Annie could freely lounge by herself at the far end of the field looking so disinterested that Mikasa might not have believed it if anyone told her she’d volunteered to join the military. Annie perched atop the thick wooden fence that formed a part of the boundaries enclosed this field, staring out at the mountains and hills beyond the barbed wires.

Blue eyes flicked over, in Mikasa’s direction, as she approached. Annie regarded her without much thought at all, a dull look in her eyes as though Mikasa had failed some sort of quality check and was undeserving of some form of proper recognition. Mikasa grew irksome; Annie was looking at her – or looking right through her – but pushed all feelings aside, recalling why she was here.

“I saw you with Eren and Reiner,” Mikasa began. “I wanted to know more about that technique you used on them. I want to know how you did it.”

Annie quirked an eyebrow at her, though the nature of her gaze largely remained the same. “It’s an old thing,” she said simply, like it wasn’t all that capable of dealing any serious damage. “My father taught it to me.”

“And I’d like you to teach it to me, now. If you have the time.”

Annie let out a sigh, indifferent. Any indication that she was going to go through with Mikasa’s request came from the little flex she did with her feet, propped up on the fence, as though that was all the warm up she needed, and leaped forward. She landed deftly on the ground and walked over to Mikasa, a touch of curiosity entering her gaze now.

“All right,” she said, without inflection. Her left foot shot out, probably for easy weight shifting, and she raised her fists in a combat stance that was largely defensive rather than offensive. “Ready when you are, Ackerman.”

It sounded more like a challenge than an invitation. Thrill surged through her body as she readied herself, putting one foot in front of the other for balance and traction. Somewhere behind her, Jean Kirstein and Connie Springer had taken notice of them, and started to gather their fellow trainees in excited shouts.

“Look! Mikasa and Annie are going to fight!”

“My money’s on you, Mikasa!” Jean all but screeched. “Beat her down into the dust and show her who’s boss!”

There was a twitch at the corner of Annie’s mouth, amusement glinting in her eyes.

“Some time today would be great,” she drawled, still firm in place. “Don’t want to let our audience down, do we?”

Mikasa took a deep breath, nerves scattering for one reason or another, and then surged forward, eyes fixed on her target. She brought her fist up in a smooth arc, clenched tight, and swung it by Annie’s face.

A hand clasped around Mikasa’s fist, stopping its momentum rather abruptly with surprising force. Mikasa had observed Annie enough times before this to know what was coming next; Annie glided to the right with that same easy grace, sidestepping Mikasa completely. Another hand shot towards her, full of intent, and Mikasa intercepted it, lightning-quick, and shoved it away. Something seemed to come to life in Annie’s eyes at that very instant, edging close to real thrill.

“So you think you know better,” Annie said, deadly quiet. “You think you know what the old trick is.”

“I’m learning, aren’t I?” Mikasa replied, resentful at her scorn.

“Oh, you’ll learn.” Annie’s mouth curled into a faint smirk. “You’ll learn. And so will your boyfriend, I think.”

Mikasa stopped short, the title a foreign thing to her. _Boyfriend._ Her insides lurched at the thought – _no, she can’t be talking about Eren –_

A murmur, low and thick with warning, came too hot and too close to her ear. “Pay attention when I’m teaching, Ackerman.”

And then Annie was moving again, with animal grace, twisting around to bring her elbow up, the action heavy with momentum, towards Mikasa’s jaw. Mikasa resurfaced from her tangled thoughts and moved, guided by an irrational upwelling of fury as the faint echo of Annie’s words lingered, lying in wait to prick her again. She stepped past Annie, relying on memory, and brought her hand up, ready to end this farce of a lesson –

“No, you don’t get to do that,” Annie said in a low hiss. “Not until you understand.”

Two hands gripped her forearm, tight and crushing in their hold. Annie turned and lifted Mikasa’s arm over the back of her shoulder and bent over. The world turned, for one dreadful second, and Mikasa landed flat on her back with a grunt of pain.

 _Get up,_ a voice commanded roughly. _Get up and fight again!_

A ripple of power and will surged through her body. Mikasa rocked her hips and was back on her feet in a split second. She learned with every step, it seemed, and soon she was trading a flurry of blows with Annie with renewed precision and certainty, until she noticed, as she turned to meet Annie’s uppercut with a forearm to deflect it, Eren standing amongst the many trainees who had gathered to watch, sandwiched between Reiner and a rather excited Connie, brows furrowed like he wasn’t sure who would win this round –

_And so will your boyfriend, I think._

It shouldn’t have been so offensive, the words that held no measure of truth. And yet it blinded Mikasa with impossible repugnance for a reason she could not name. Maybe it had been the thought of humiliation, in front of so many others. Maybe it had been the exhaustion sneaking back in, stripping her mentally defenseless against petty mockery. Wild instinct overcame Mikasa regardless of reason. She swung a right hook at Annie with a tight fist, careless in step. Annie danced around her, and Mikasa ended up in the girl’s grip. A slender hand trapped her by the jaw.

“Do you get it now?” Annie asked. Her question was laced with menace.

Mikasa shook, moving to pry herself loose. She took another step, then felt the light touch of Annie’s foot against hers, so deceptively harmless –

She met the ground with a final crash, more excruciating than the last. The sun seemed to grow brighter, and a little more livid.

* * *

She twitched a little as Sasha pressed down on her bruise, wincing from physical pain and remembrance of her underwhelming defeat. Her hand gripped the edge of the bed, nails sinking into the tough, springy surface, but she remained silent throughout the ordeal until Sasha was done tending to the wounds she’d earned from the rough sparring with Annie.

Her bunkmate tapped her lightly on the shoulder to signal that she was finished. Mikasa turned slowly, aching all over, and met Sasha’s kind smile with a grateful one of her own.

“Thank you, Sasha.”

“You’re welcome!” Sasha scratched her head, a little sheepish, as though she didn’t know what exactly she was doing right by helping Mikasa dress the wounds she couldn’t herself reach. “Take it easy next time, okay? I’m pretty sure there’s a reason why nobody picks Annie for a sparring partner.”

 _Oh, you’ll learn,_ Annie had said, almost amused. _You’ll learn._ There was a bitter taste, imagined or not, that came with remembering, on the tip of Mikasa’s tongue.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Mikasa said stiffly, though the seriousness of Sasha’s warning didn’t quite reach her. Yes, she still ached, inside and outside, about the duel earlier that day, but there was a certain stretch in her muscles she hadn’t felt in a long time, not since she’d gotten used to the routine drills and exercises after two years in training. She would not plainly admit to enjoying the struggle of a losing battle, but it had been a while since she’d found anything particularly hard to overcome. There hadn’t been the calm certainty she’d felt whenever she flew with the maneuver device, or sunk her blades into the neck of a mock Titan. If she overlooked Annie’s insulting taunts, and ignored the bitterness, the entire experience felt morbidly satisfying.

“There’s something about her, though, right?” Sasha said, dropping her voice into a low whisper, as if fearing the walls had ears and gossip was punishable by death. “She’s always so quiet, on her own, and you never really expect something like that out of her.”

“I guess not,” Mikasa agreed.

“Maybe all her hard work’s starting to pay off.”

Mikasa snapped to attention. Something about the phrase _hard work_ didn’t sit well with her, more so since it was about Annie, the girl who slacked off whenever she could during training, keeping to herself in a corner. Sasha, who had caught the unspoken question in Mikasa’s face, gave her a little shrug.

“I mean, I’ve always seen her out in the field by herself at night, after bedtime,” Sasha said. “Whenever I head out to take another potato from the storage, or whenever Instructor Shadis makes me do my rounds, I’d see her out there easily if I stood at the edge of the ridge. She practices a lot on her own there, I think. The only other logical explanation is that she’s secretly into dancing, and didn’t want anyone to find out.”

The thought of Annie Leonhart pirouetting about beneath the moonlight gave rise to a small amount of hysteria, though Mikasa kept it well contained. “I don’t – I don’t think she dances, Sasha.”

“Yeah, but when you think about the way she moves?” Sasha winked. “Totally a dancer at heart.”

Mikasa smiled faintly, gladdened by Sasha’s company all of a sudden. The girl had always been a little foolish – more so when it came to food – and carefree in a happy-go-lucky way that perhaps would not benefit her in the long run if she came face-to-face with a hungry Titan. Mikasa rarely understood how or why Sasha faced the world the way she did, but there were moments when it was needed, moments when it was deeply treasured. Mikasa herself had never really known how to face each day, constantly filled with dread at the thought of Eren charging headfirst into territory swarming with Titans, or him dying at the hands of one, and she had come to appreciate Sasha’s presence, her existence bright in contrast to Mikasa’s own.

They talked for a little while longer before the night grew darker and Sasha was overwhelmed with fatigue. She slept, quiet and content, while Mikasa lay awake on the bed beside hers, staring unblinkingly at the wooden underside of the top bunk bed, where Mina Carolina slept.

Her thoughts were beginning to stray back to that moment of defeat again, and discomfort churned at the bottom of her stomach. In her mind, the fight with Annie replayed itself over and over, and each time it restarted Mikasa found herself drifting further and further from proper sleep. Coupled with Sasha’s faint snoring, it was nearly impossible to empty her mind.

She sat upright, feeling the throb of pain in several areas on her back, and turned slowly to swing herself off the bed. She got to her feet and padded over to the double doors at the far end of the bunkhouse. The wooden floorboard creaked noisily in the still silence and someone stirred as Mikasa passed her by, murmuring something unintelligible and pulling the covers a little higher over her face, making it impossible for Mikasa to make out who she was. She moved, with a little more urgency, and finally reached the doors, pushing them open gingerly and stepped out into the chilly night.

It was usually a far less cruel affair at night; in the morning, the sun would blaze for hours until the evening time, essentially cooking trainees until they were dehydrated beyond belief. Every night that came after felt like a gift from God above – or so Sasha explained with a light in her eyes that never went away – and everyone’s moods eventually stabilized by the time it came to dinner.

Mikasa thought she was finally beginning to understand; she sighed with relief, as an icy breeze brushed past like a passing friend come to greet her. She continued down the dirt path, past the other trainee bunkhouses and officers’ house, and pushed on past the stables when the whinny of a horse, excited by something, caught her attention.

She looked to her left. Two old lamps hung from the corners of the roof sheltering the horses, casting a dim light on the creatures. There was a shadow there, moving up and down the row of stalls, apparently feeding the horses as they whinnied with what Mikasa knew now was delight.

Aware that it was past their stipulated feeding time, Mikasa walked over to the stables to stop the trainee that was getting himself into hot soup. Shadis was probably still around somewhere; he usually never slept until past midnight, stalking past bunks and peering into windows to make sure everyone was still in bed. This particular trainee was running the risk of being strung up in the morning by the harness to be roasted.

“Hey. You’re not supposed to be feeding them at this hour.”

The shadow stilled at the sound of her voice. Another gust of wind came by, and the lamps creaked as they swayed. Some of the firelight fell upon the shadow, and Mikasa saw a hint of blonde hair and the outline of a hood that he was wearing. Or she, Mikasa now realized, as Annie walked into the light, holding several carrots in her hand.

“What Shadis doesn’t know won’t kill him,” she said, conversational. She went right back to the horses, particularly favoring a brown mare as she stroked her mane. “You can pretend you didn’t see anything.”

The memory of their battle returned, fresh in her mind. Mikasa felt the familiar prick of humiliation and grew indignant, such that she remained rooted to the spot, just watching Annie walk up and down the stalls, tossing a carrot or two in for good measure. The horses whinnied again with delight.

“Do you do this often?” Mikasa asked distractedly, unsure of why she was still standing there, just watching Annie.

Annie stopped and turned to look at Mikasa, eyebrow quirking. “What makes you think so?”

Without waiting for a reply, Annie tossed the carrots into the mare’s stall, a small smile forming on her lips as she watched the horse devour them.

Mikasa looked to the horses. She vaguely recalled one of them snapping at Connie when he wiggled a carrot too far, getting carried away with making them follow his every move. These stallions, these beasts… they were nothing if not wild. Intelligently wild, in the sense that they knew when to behave and when to attempt to bite your head off. Which was why, as Annie was gently caressing the brown mare that had returned for more of her affections, Mikasa found the sight a little peculiar.

“They seem very at ease around you.”

“They would be the first.”

Had it not been so quiet, had it not been just the two of them there, Mikasa would not have heard Annie speak those words. There was no bitterness to Annie’s tone, no edge in her voice that indicated some sort of resentment towards anyone. There was just the same flat quality to it, like she didn’t care much for it but acknowledged it all the same. Mikasa was beginning to think Annie treated the entire world like that – not carelessly, but not enough to convince you that she felt anything substantial.

Annie apparently still had her attention on Mikasa, though she looked rather invested in the mare. Her eyes flicked in Mikasa’s direction and her lips thinned ever so slightly, like Mikasa’s physical presence was beginning to grate on her nerves.

“Still here.” It wasn’t so much a question as it was a statement of fact. “What is it that you want?”

“Nothing.” Mikasa snapped back to attention, realizing that she’d been giving Annie too much thought. Why was she here? “I was taking a walk.”

Annie looked back at the mare, bored. “Well, get going.”

Mikasa considered leaving, but then something occurred to her. A question demanded to be asked. She took another step closer to Annie. “How did you do it?”

“Do what – oh.” Annie finally turned to Mikasa and away from the horses completely. “You mean this afternoon.”

“I want to understand how you got around my defense.”

“I didn’t get _around_ it.” Annie was already brushing past her. “You let me through.”

Mikasa bristled at her words. The revelation, apparently, wasn’t reaching her yet. “Wait. What do you mean?”

Annie stopped again. Mikasa could hear the slight hiss of the girl’s sigh, tinted with frustration.

“You got distracted. You let your emotions get in the way,” Annie explained, though not impatiently, looking over her shoulder. “When I mentioned Eren.”

Mikasa felt her insides twist and knot horribly. Heat crept up over her collar, up her neck, and she was thankful it was dark enough so Annie couldn’t see. At least, she hoped that was the case.

“So the reason why I lost was because I got compromised.”

“In essence, yes. You gave me an open window and I took it.” Annie brushed her bangs from her face and tucked them behind her ear. “Stay in control of your emotions, and you stay within the means to win.”

“So that’s the old trick. Taking advantage of people when they’re at a loss.”

Annie regarded Mikasa, a faint hint of confusion and annoyance in her expression. “Look. Why do you care so much about hand-to-hand? It’s not like Survey will make you guys fight Titans with your bare fists.”

Mikasa wasn’t sure if Annie was trying to put her at ease or make fun of her. Either way, she let it pass over her. “If I ever get into a fistfight with one of those things, I’ll let you know.”

Annie snorted, lips curling at the corners, forming an unexpected half-smile that wasn’t quite there, that never quite reached her eyes. Annie regarded her with less indifference now; something fuller entered the girl’s gaze, something Mikasa couldn’t name yet.

“So,” Annie turned her back to Mikasa, “I’ll see you around, Ackerman. The next time you want me to flip you over and make a spectacle out of you again… you know where to find me."

Mikasa blinked, taken aback. Annie was already much further down the road. She stood where she was for a long time before she regained the ability to command her legs to move again. She went right back to the bunkhouse, feeling thoroughly ready to catch some sleep. The remainder of the walk back to her bunk was considerably emptier than the first half, though Mikasa couldn’t quite put the picture of Annie’s half-smile from her mind.

Later, much later, when she was in bed and staring into nothing again, Mikasa pondered over what Annie had said to her. Her thoughts eventually began to mutate, twisting and turning, becoming fully drawn-out scenarios of how she would overpower Annie the next time they fought, how Annie’s words and trickery would not affect her then, how she would be able to rise above it.

Annie Leonhart was no friend or ally – at the very least, Mikasa saw her as a comrade. But more than anything, it was clear that Annie was a rival, something to be overcome, as if, truly, there were no Titans beyond the wall and Mikasa had nothing else to care about.


	3. Partner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your evaluation will not suffer, but I will have to assign a new partner to you while Arlert remains inactive.”
> 
> “Yes sir,” Mikasa said. “Do you have someone in mind?”
> 
> “As a matter of fact, I do. I want you to take Leonhart.”

2

 

Raindrops turned to sharp, icy needles that threatened to fog Mikasa’s vision as she swept through the forest, wires firing with careful timing and finding purchase in the thick branch of a tree overhead. The hiss of gas rushing out was muffled by the harsher sigh of rain as she soared, emerging from a downswing that gave her good momentum to work with as she strained to look for the Titans that hid amongst the trees.

Another set of wires hissed to her right, rocketing past her to sink hooks into a nearby tree. Armin swung by, gas rushing out in short bursts to maintain some energy in his swing, the wind whipping at his blonde hair.

“Armin, do you see anything?” Mikasa asked. She released her wires and they zipped back into their coils, axles within the maneuver device whirring as they spun. With another click of the trigger they fired off again, and Mikasa felt the pulling force that brought her forward in motion, and let it guide her body.

“Not yet!” Armin said, coming up beside her. “It’s too hard to see with this rain.”

Mikasa ranged through the trees, formulating a plan in her mind as quickly as she can. Shadis had announced a new exercise that morning, one that he wanted to try out on the current batch of trainees before they moved on to graduate. He had called it a two-man strategy, where each soldier in a pair played a pivotal role in taking down a Titan as effectively and quickly as possible.

The pairs had split up in different areas of the forest course, searching for their own designated Titans, and were required to finish within the allotted time and return to the rendezvous point at the edge of the forest to meet with Shadis and the other supervising officers. But the rain hadn’t been expected, and it was slowing their movements considerably – Mikasa was adamant that they move with caution, lest they end up ramming into a tree or misfiring their wires.

The rain didn’t let up as they emerged from the trees into a clearing, wide enough to hold two mock Titans that received them, faceless and unmoving. Mikasa found herself shouting over the roar of the thunderstorm as they whipped past the Titans, mechanisms groaning as nearby Training Corps soldiers pulled on ropes, giving them some semblance of sentience.

Mikasa recalled her wires, mid swing, and twisted her body to do a full turn. She fired off her wires again, at the tree just over the first mock Titan’s shoulder and surged forward again. The Titan turned, rearing its faceless gaze, just enough for Armin to zip by and make a pass at its neck, bringing his blades down to make a cut that wasn’t quite deep enough. Armin’s brows knotted as he made another pass, with Mikasa drawing the Titans’ attention, and this time managed to make a deep enough cut.

“Good!” their supervising officer, Captain Reinhardt, shouted from above. “Now the next one. Switch roles!”

Mikasa made a sharp turn and prepared to make a pass at the remaining mock Titan. Armin throttled forward, narrowly missing the Titan’s face, as he swept past, a little careless with his maneuvering. His wires snapped back into their coils as he turned, and with a hiss they reemerged, seeking to sink claws into the branch just past Mikasa.

By the time she realized it was a misfire, it had already been too late; Armin had already leaped into the air when his grappling hooks missed their mark.

He fell forward, wires unable to return to their coils fast enough – the distance had been too great – before he tumbled to the ground. Mikasa shot downwards after him and caught him just before he landed, and sagged with relief as she landed on the muddy forest floor. Armin’s head fell backwards, revealing an expression of extreme discomfort, his eyes tightly shut. Even in the rain, Mikasa could see the distinct lack of color in his cheeks.

“Armin,” she shook him gently. “Armin, look at me. Are you all right?”

“Mikasa…” Armin spoke through clenched teeth, wincing with pain, somewhere Mikasa couldn’t tell. “I don’t feel – I don’t feel right –”

“Ackerman!” The voice of Reinhardt reached her through the harsh hiss of rain, growing louder as he advanced towards her. “What’s going on with Arlert?”

“I’m not sure,” Mikasa murmured, half to herself. Armin was slipping away from consciousness, and fast, pale as a sheet. “Where – Armin –”

Reinhardt came to a crouch beside her, brow deeply set in a troubled frown. He touched a hand to Mikasa’s shoulder. “Come. We’ll head back first. The rain isn’t doing him any good.”

Armin looked smaller than ever in Captain Reinhardt’s arms. They jogged, against the heavy rain, boots sloshing through mud and soil. Mikasa drew her hood up, though it helped nothing against the rain for she was already drenched from head to toe, and followed Reinhardt closely, keeping a watchful eye on Armin all the while. The only sign that he was still alive was the brief flutter of his eyelashes when he stirred back to half-consciousness, his mouth moving but making no sound.

She should have noticed, Mikasa thought. Armin had looked ill at ease since they assembled in the morning, looking as though he’d swallowed something sour before coming to rally with the rest. He’d fumbled a little too carelessly with his maneuver device, too, when they were preparing for the Titan simulation exercise, and more than once slipped while attempting to attach it to the fixtures along his belt. He’d brushed it off as a lack of sleep, and Mikasa had taken him at his word. Her insides lurched with discomfort now, as she considered the consequences of such negligence, both on her part and his.

They arrived at the rendezvous point early, being the only ones back so far. Shadis took a single look at Armin, grim understanding entering his hard gaze, and nodded to Reinhardt.

“Take him to the infirmary.” When Reinhardt retreated back to camp, with Armin still curled in his arms, Shadis held up a hand to stop Mikasa as she took a step. “Cadet Ackerman, you’ll stay with me for the moment.”

Mikasa paused. “Sir?”

“Judging by Arlert’s state, he’s probably in no condition to carry on training for a few days.” Shadis stood, still as a statue, as though the downpour all around was nothing more than a mere drizzle to him. “Your evaluation will not suffer, but I will have to assign a new partner to you while Arlert remains inactive.”

“Yes sir,” Mikasa said. “Do you have someone in mind?”

“As a matter of fact, I do. I want you to take Leonhart.”

Mikasa’s protest caught in the middle of her throat, refusing to budge even as she turned her head to face Shadis, thoroughly horrified. Shadis glanced at her and his mouth twisted into a grimace.

“Don’t give me that look, Ackerman,” he said gruffly, crossing his arms over his chest. “Leonhart’s evaluation has been suffering lately, and not because she’s not proficient at handling the 3D gear, or can’t get a hit on a Titan. Her problem is cooperating with others, preferring to stay isolated. Granted, she’s efficient, but that kind of attitude could put her comrades in danger one day.” Shadis’ voice took on an edge. “No amount of heroism and no kind of victory could make up for that loss.”

Mikasa knew where that edge had come from. Shadis had returned, so many years ago, at the head of the Survey Corps Company, head hanging in defeat as they passed through Shinganshina. Mikasa remembered the bodies, wrapped tightly in linen cloth, and those bodies that had been reduced to a mass of limbs, unrecognizable to the very last. That defeat had been Survey’s most shameful one to date, and she saw the same darkness in Shadis’ eyes as she had seen then, only this time it was more pronounced, and it gave the instructor a very haunted look indeed.

She looked away, still feeling sour about the thought of partnering up with Annie. It wasn’t that she was afraid of working together with her; it was more of a creeping suspicion that Annie would make things extremely hard for her. Of course, she knew that Shadis was taking away the problem of having to keep up by assigning Annie to her – she demonstrated no small amount of skill in 3D gear usage – and it would be one less thing to worry about, but the uneasy stirring in Mikasa’s gut never ceased. She had seen Annie during regular Titan simulations – how the girl had moved with refined grace and a quiet confidence, but also how she tended to speed off by herself, leaving her fellow trainees far behind and rather disoriented by her abrupt parting of the ways. It didn’t come as a surprise to Mikasa that Annie’s evaluation was suffering solely because of teamwork, but she had the faintest inkling that Annie cared nothing for it, not even if her partner was the most proficient trainee in all of the 104th.

“Ackerman, do I make myself very clear?” Shadis asked evenly, though it was clear that this wasn’t the first time he’d said it. Mikasa blinked, returning to her present senses, and nodded.

“Yes sir.”

“Good.” Shadis looked forward again, expectant. “I expect you’ll know what to do.”

 _Not really,_ Mikasa thought blandly. Just then, Connie and Annie shot out of the trees, wires whipping about. There was the snap of wires returning firmly in their place, and then the wet sound of boots landing on muddied soil. As they walked over to where Shadis was standing, Annie’s eyes flicked over in Mikasa’s direction and her lips parted as though on the verge of saying something. Mikasa held her gaze, matching it with her own, a single, pressing thought blaring in her mind. How, exactly, was she going to convince this girl to work with her?

“Leonhart, you’re being reassigned to Ackerman.”

There was the tiniest hint of shock in her eyes, briefly, before they narrowed. Her lips thinned considerably as she paused for a moment, before finally accepting the news and gave Shadis a curt nod. “Yes sir.”

They dispersed soon after a short debrief, and returned to the bunkhouses to stay out of the storm and change out of their wet uniforms. Mikasa wrinkled her nose – completely ruining her uniform for the day had been a theme, lately.

She returned to her bedside and grabbed a fresh change of clothes, Shadis giving them the day off due to the unforeseen change in weather. The women’s bath house, thankfully, was linked to their corresponding bunkhouse by a sheltered walkway, though strong winds were doing a good job of battering the wooden roof so much that there was no chance of staying dry in the slightest. Mikasa braved the rain and jogged over, deciding that a little bit of rain could not compare to wearing a soggy uniform that clung to her incessantly.

It was warmer on the inside. Mikasa got right to work, picking a random stall and shut the door behind her. She peeled her ruined uniform off and dumped it into a pile at the corner and hung her new set on the rack above, and promptly stepped into the tub. The water was lukewarm; Mikasa suspected its temperature was going to drop further the longer this storm went on.

She washed her hair through twice, taking care to scrub with effort, and cleansed her body thoroughly before she was satisfied. The grime had been particularly hard to clean away without soap, but she managed, somehow, and eventually rose to her feet, reaching for the towel that hung above her on the rack. As she patted herself dry, she heard the scuffling of feet somewhere on the other side of her stall, and another door closing shut with a click. Thinking nothing of it, Mikasa dressed herself, feeling far better than she had in the forest, mood dampened by the rain and Shadis’ equally chilling news.

She would see Armin, she decided, as she padded over to the basin area to wash her wet clothes. There was no point in thinking about Annie – no amount of mental power could change things, now. She would have to wait and see, and hope that she could make something out of it.

“Ackerman.”

She dropped her clothes into the basin with a splat, and slowly looked over her shoulder. Annie stood, looking rather unkempt herself, at the doorway of her stall, though the door covered most of her body, save for the head that stuck out at Mikasa. There was tightness in her eyes, like she was being forced into this situation, this torturous ordeal.

“I forgot my towel,” Annie said, evenly. “I’m not going to make you run back and get mine for me, so could I borrow yours?”

There was something hysterical about the entire conversation. Mikasa moved, clutching her slightly damp towel – but dry enough to still be usable – and walked over to Annie. For some reason, her thoughts were straying into unknown territory, unnerving Mikasa. It was hard to picture Annie bare, as though nakedness was something that defined humanity, and could not be reconciled with the person that was currently attempting to borrow her towel. Annie seemed to know her thoughts, though Mikasa knew that was largely impossible, and there was the slightest twitch of her lips, forming the same half-smile Mikasa had seen before, and reached a hand out to take the towel.

“Thanks, partner.” The term was obviously meant to ridicule, though there was nothing in her dark eyes or firmly set expression that indicated she was pointedly trying to make fun of Mikasa. Her hand briefly touched Mikasa’s, and for several seconds, remained there, still as stone. Annie lowered her gaze, curiously thoughtful. “You’re trembling.”

Mikasa drew her hand away, whip-quick. “It’s cold,” she said shortly. “You can give it back to me when you’ve dried it afterwards.”

Annie eyed her, almost knowingly. Then, without a word, she slipped behind the door and closed it shut. Mikasa stood there, swaying, and listened to the soft sound of water sloshing and splashing for a moment. Then, as if someone had just struck her, Mikasa jerked and quickly returned to her laundry.

She scrubbed hard at her uniform, ignoring the shivering of her hands, coming not from the cold rain, but a chill that grew from somewhere inside.

* * *

The rain persisted throughout the evening, giving the whole place a greyish tint. After dinner, Mikasa had gone to the infirmary to visit Armin. She drew her hood up over her face and it helped little in shielding her from getting wet, but she noted that it could have been worse. She shook off stray droplets of rain on her cloak as she entered, and hung it on a stand near the entrance. 

Inside, the curtains were drawn up at every window, shrouding almost every bed in darkness save for the only occupied one. Beside Armin’s bedside was a lone candle, its flame flickering weakly. He was sitting up, propped against a pillow, and reading a book he had most likely requested someone to bring to him. As Mikasa approached, Armin looked up from his book and his mouth tugged at the corners to form a relieved smile.

“Mikasa, you came to see me!” He coughed a little at the exertion and brought a hand to his mouth. Mikasa pulled up a chair and sat down beside him, eyes falling on the book that he was reading.

“Instructor Shadis doesn’t know about that, does he,” Mikasa indicated the book in Armin’s hand. “You brought it all the way here?”

It was an old book Armin favored, one that had come to him from his grandfather. She distinctly remembered Armin talking about it to her and Eren once, very long ago, when they were still children living in Shinganshina. Inside, the book contained information about the outside world – the world still unknown to Mikasa, beyond the Walls – and had inspired Eren in particular to set his heart on venturing beyond the Walls, and the Survey Corps eventually became his most obvious choice. Mikasa had liked it enough, back then, and she had even dreamed of the ocean Armin once talked about, vast and wide in its size, and deeper than she could ever imagine. But when the Titans came, she had forgotten all about it. It was a warm surprise that Armin had kept it all this while, even managing to conceal it from Shadis’ routine checks every week for the last three or so years.

“I couldn’t leave it behind, not really.” Armin closed the book shut. “It’s my dream, after all. To see the outside.”

Mikasa smiled, bringing a hand to cover his. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, I think.” In a bodily display of outright mutiny, Armin coughed again, this one sounding far worse than the last. “I’m pretty sure I’ll be back in no time. And then we can finish that two-man team exercise.”

Mikasa squeezed his hand, very gently. “Armin,” she started, soft. “Instructor Shadis thinks you won’t be fit for training for a while. He reassigned me a new partner.”

Armin’s eyes widened. “But what if I get better by tomorrow? Can I still partner with you?”

“I think so,” Mikasa said, though after hearing what Shadis had to say, she wasn’t quite sure herself. “Maybe. I don’t know. Focus on recovering first, Armin, and we can think about it later."

Armin shrunk into his bed, visibly disturbed. “I don’t know who else would want to partner with me. I’d only bring their marks down, probably.”

“Armin.” Mikasa grew firm. “Where is this coming from?”

Armin paused, for a few seconds, Mikasa’s question catching him by surprise. His shoulders slumped after a moment and he fell back against the pillow behind him, the firelight casting dark shadows that flickered across his face, so that Mikasa could not see his expression.

“I don’t know. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately.” He bowed his head a little, staring down at the book in his lap. “That if I don’t pass the final physical evaluation, I might go to university instead of joining the Garrison, or the Survey Corps.”

“But you will pass.”

Armin smiled. “I hope so, Mikasa,” he said, with a touch of gratitude to his tone. “But in the event that I don’t, that’s where I’ll go. I heard the schools behind Wall Sina are huge, and look like castles.”

“Castles,” Mikasa repeated, amused. “You really think so?”

“That’s what I’ve heard.”

“Get out of the way!” A muffled cry from somewhere beyond the walls startled them both, and for a moment there was only the sound of heavy footsteps, passing by the corridor outside as a shadow flitted past the windows, coming around to the entrance. Several others followed, close by, shouting protests.

The loud snap of a boot meeting door heralded the arrival of Ymir, doors flying open to allow the storm inside as she strode over to the empty bed beside Armin’s, carrying Krista Lenz in her arms. Several men and a woman entered the infirmary after Ymir, and Mikasa recognized them to be the medical staff on duty in the camp. No doubt they had taken shelter elsewhere, within their own bunkhouse, to hide from the rain and leave Armin to rest by himself.

Not caring if it was ruining the clean sheets, Ymir gingerly lowered Krista onto the bed. Despite the dim lighting, Mikasa could see that Krista’s expression was wracked with pain, and she gave slight gasps from time to time, as though there was something inside, slowly pricking her. Ymir stood still for a moment, dripping wet, over Krista’s shuddering form, and looked to be at a loss as a dark-haired woman pushed past her to check Krista’s vitals.

“Ymir…” Armin adjusted himself slightly so he could get a better look at Krista. “What happened?”

“She collapsed in front of me,” Ymir said, her voice barely anything at all. “Just after we returned to the bunk. I don’t – I don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

“Fever,” the woman said quickly, without missing a beat. She touched a hand to Krista’s forehead. “She’ll be alright, cadet. She just needs to rest up here for a few days.”

“Can I stay with her?” Ymir asked.

“Later,” the woman nodded, and signaled to her colleagues to come over. “We’re going to have to do some tests, first. Will you and Cadet Ackerman please step outside?”

Armin turned to look at Mikasa, reassuring. “I’ll see you later, Mikasa.”

“See you,” Mikasa said, still fixated on Krista, and followed Ymir out the door and back into the pouring rain.

* * *

“It must be the weather,” Mina Carolina said, snugly wrapped in her blanket as the girls sat around to talk that night, a single candle in the middle of their circle the only point of illumination. “On top of Instructor Shadis’ new exercises, some people were bound to fall sick sooner or later.”

Ymir still looked visibly shaken, from what little Mikasa could see in the firelight, but she was no longer cursing and swearing, as she had just now, and only remained silent as the girls passed around their theories.

“Or it could be the food,” Sasha offered, with a note of disgust in her tone. “I’m always doubtful of that oat thing they give us every morning. And no meat, only fish –”

“Technically, fish is also meat,” someone pointed out.

“– I’m pretty sure the officers are hiding all the cow, lamb and chicken from us –”

“Okay, I’m not even sure if we’ve _got_ any beef or chicken to begin with –”

“– which is a travesty in itself!” Sasha’s eyes shone with fury, motivated solely by the thought of good food, and she held up a fist mid speech. “I say we put our heads together and come up with a plan to plunder their food supply and distribute it amongst ourselves.” She lowered her voice, a glint in her eyes. “Only us girls, that is.”

Excitement rippled across the bunk. The rest of their chattering faded away, into background noise, as Mikasa looked up from where she was sitting and saw Annie entering through the front door.

Almost like she had known where she was seated all along, Annie fixed a rather pointed look at Mikasa and nodded towards the far end of the bunk, where no light could reach. Something stirred inside Mikasa, deep in her gut, and it felt a lot like instinct, warning her away and strangely enough, urging her to follow at the same time.

Then Annie mouthed the word ‘towel’ at her, and Mikasa understood. The stirring subsided, and she moved in a single smooth motion and got to her feet, padding over to where Annie was. No one noticed or called her back, the gaggle of girls still heavily invested in Sasha’s proposition.

“Here.” Annie swiped the towel off the rack, at the corner of the bunk, and handed it towards Mikasa. “It should be dry enough by now.”

“Thanks,” Mikasa murmured, surprised to find that her towel was indeed free of any dampness. “That was quick.”

As she turned to leave, she heard Annie’s voice again. “How’s Armin doing?”

Mikasa paused. “He’s… better. Or so he says,” she turned to look over her shoulder. She could faintly make out Annie’s features, and saw that the girl was frowning. “I thought he looked sicker than ever.”

“And Krista, as well,” Annie said. Mikasa wasn’t sure if it was a question or not, so she stayed silent. “If it rains tomorrow, we should be careful not to catch anything as well during the exercise.”

“If it rains. I hope not, for your sake.”

A pause, and then: “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Mikasa turned fully now, still gripping the towel in her hand. “Tomorrow’s exercise is supposed to be a special one, and it’s heavily graded. Shadis told me to watch out for your score.”

“My score,” Annie repeated, a little lost. Her voice tightened with annoyance. “What, he thinks _you_ can persuade me to play nice and be a helpful little shit?”

“I didn’t really think of persuasion, to be honest,” Mikasa admitted, her mind unable to filter any thoughts for some reason. A hand latched onto her jaw and Annie shoved her up against the small space of wall in between two bunk beds, effectively hiding them both from complete view – not that it mattered in the first place, considering how dark everything was.

Annie all but snarled at her. “So you mean to break me like a horse. Did Shadis put you up to it? Or do you really just hate losing to me that much?”

“I don’t – this isn’t about losing or winning,” Mikasa struggled to say, hands coming up to Annie’s wrist. “Let me go, Annie.”

“Listen to me,” Annie breathed, hot against her ear. Mikasa shuddered at the sensation, involuntarily. “I don’t need your help. I don’t care about teamwork. Our evaluations are separately done, aren’t they?”

“Yes, but –”

Annie’s grip tensed, and nails dug into Mikasa’s skin so hard that she thought Annie might start drawing blood. She fell silent, feeling a prick of anger, somewhere deep inside her chest.

“I can fight,” Annie went on, and for a moment it seemed like she was no longer speaking to Mikasa but somebody else in mind. “I can take them all on, just you wait. I won’t even give you a chance to hit a single Titan tomorrow.”

“We’ll see about that,” Mikasa said softly, a familiar rise of determination welling up inside her. “We’ll see.”

“Don’t hold your breath, Ackerman. Stay out of my way.”

Annie released her, and slipped away. There was a tiny shiver that ran down Mikasa’s spine when Annie withdrew her iron grip, and several areas around her jaw and face tingled with pain.

She wasn’t afraid, not really. She wasn’t at all sure what she was feeling, other than ire and a spirit of competition that took hold of her. Forget what Shadis said – Mikasa would find a way to make things work, and whether or not she had to drag Annie by the jacket depended entirely on her willingness to cooperate.


	4. Chase

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You think you can do without a little help, because – why? Are you afraid, Annie? What are you afraid of? What are you hiding?”

3

 

Mikasa was the first to reach the training field that day, followed closely by Eren and a stream of other trainees. She stood with him as they prepared to warm up, stretching in the chill air – it was still the early hours of the morning, and the sun was barely peeking over the horizon – as she waited for the first drills of the day to begin.

The sky was still a shade of purple when Mikasa caught sight of Annie, strolling down from the top of the ridge, down a gentle slope that led directly to the field. When she neared the field, Annie’s gaze flicked in Mikasa’s direction, as she knew it would, something hardening behind her blue eyes. There was something edgy in them, like Annie was daring her to keep looking as she made her way over to the pull-up bars.

Mikasa watched, half of her in muted admiration, as Annie leaped up easily to catch herself by the bar, dangling there for a few seconds. Then she began swinging lightly, as if to test the feel of it, before rocking her hips and coming up, releasing the bar, to land deftly on top of the pull-up bar with that same, uncanny grace about her.

Mikasa forgot all about her own stretches and warming up – she was plenty warmed up, feeling as though she had just witnessed something particularly intimate, the way power surged through Annie’s lean body, as though it had been lying in wait under her skin all this time for a good reason to show itself. Several other trainees were looking, as well, and Annie moved again, lightning-quick, and leaped across to the next bar, her sense of balance perfectly in place, as she was.

Mikasa couldn’t help but think that this was her way of intimidating her, a follow-up from last night’s heated conversation. She compressed her lips into a tight line, willed herself to look away, and went back to her leg stretches. Eren sidled up to her and raised a leg over the beam beside hers, bending over a little as he glanced at her.

“What do you suppose got into Annie?” he asked, smirking slightly. “I’ve never seen her do a single pull-up since we got here, much less that crazy stunt.”

It was a stunt, truly. A stunt to provoke Mikasa, a stunt to show her what, exactly, she was up against. Mikasa shrugged it off with effort, going so far as to stretch her thigh muscles a little more, as though the tightness and strain could keep her thoughts in check.

“I don’t know,” Mikasa said. “Maybe she’s finally taking training seriously.”

“Maybe,” Eren agreed, lowering his leg. “I heard Shadis reassigned her to you as a partner for the exercise later because of Armin. How is he?”

“I’m not sure myself.” Mikasa turned, thoroughly satisfied with the warm up. Her eyes fell on Annie again, who had dropped back down to do some actual pull-ups. “He looked terrible. And Krista –”

“Yeah, I heard about that too.” Eren frowned. “Ymir’s pretty shaken by it, though the others are saying it’s just a fever. I didn’t know she cared about Krista so much. She’s a mean bitch most of the time to the rest of us anyway.”

 _Fever_ , the woman had said, with such finality in her tone that Mikasa had taken her at her word. At that moment, something clicked in the back of her mind: she remembered the woman dismissing Krista’s condition as a fever _before_ she put her hand to her forehead. Something about that didn’t sit well with Mikasa, and she glanced at Eren, feeling a sense of anxiety coming over her.

“I hope it’s just that, and nothing severe,” she confessed.

Shadis arrived not long after, and they fell into line as he passed them by, brooding and dark-eyed. The sun was hanging over the mountains in the distance, now, its golden light falling over the field in a slow reach.

“Today, I want all of you to think of one thing – and one thing alone: your partner,” Shadis stepped past them one by one, hands clasped behind his back. The tail of his coat flapped with every heavy step he took. “I want you to think of them as an extension of yourself, a part of you that you cannot do without. For the next three days, your mission is this – work together, suffer together. If your partner crumbles under their burden, shoulder that burden for them! If your partner has a broken body, carry them and make your body theirs!”

 _That is highly unlikely,_ Mikasa thought with a grimace, _At least not with Annie in mind._

“You and your partner will be evaluated as if you were just one soldier,” Shadis went on, and there was a distinct wave of surprise sweeping across the assembly. “Three whole days will be spent in the forest, and your goal is to survive, simply put. On top of operating as a two-man team to clear the forest of any Titans, you are to check in at different stations within the allotted time. If you fail to meet the time limit, you will be penalized. If you split off from your partner halfway, you will be penalized!”

“This is just great,” Eren muttered, somewhere behind Mikasa. “A joint evaluation?”

There was, of course, wisdom to this decision, even if it left an uncomfortable roiling in Mikasa’s stomach. With a joint evaluation, every pair would be obligated to each other, bound by either responsibility or self-interest, it didn’t matter as long as every pair moved as one unit. Combatting Titans never worked when you were on your own – you needed an extra pair of eyes, and an extra set of blades.

Mikasa glanced, furtively, at Annie, who stood on the other side of the formation, facing hers. If there was any indication that Shadis’ warnings were sinking in, there was no trace of it in Annie’s expression. There was only the same dullness, and it irked Mikasa beyond all reason.

“Form up into your teams and grab your 3D gear. We’ll be doing a run, to the first starting point, and from there we’ll split up. Hop to it, all of you!”

Mikasa found Annie some time later, preparing her blades as she slotted them into their sheathes, each time a clear, ringing sound of steel well forged. All around them, trainees were running back and forth, gear clanking noisily as Mikasa reached over for her own.

Annie looked up at her at last, as she began to fix the gear to her belt, tugging lightly to make sure they would hold. Mikasa met her gaze and found no welcome there, though there was a trace of thoughtfulness, like Annie couldn’t quite figure out what to do with her.

“They gave us rations,” she said flatly, eyes never leaving Mikasa, almost as if she was assessing and evaluating her for signs of something. “To last for the next three days. I doubt they will.”

“If this exercise was engineered by Shadis, you can bet they won’t.” Mikasa checked her harness, pulling here and there to make sure it held.

Annie snorted, pulling the knapsack over her back. “You really think I’m buying into this?” she said suddenly, an edge coming into her voice. “That you genuinely want to help me out, boost my score? You’d sooner bend over backwards for Eren and make yourself Titan bait for him to get away.”

The blade she was handling slipped from her grasp, and blood bloomed on her forefinger where the edge had cut. She sucked in a breath, anger rising to the top of her throat, and sheathed the blade before wiping the crimson liquid off her hand.

“If I didn’t know any better,” Mikasa said, remarkably composed, “I’d say you were jealous of Eren.”

“Because I want someone to be chasing after me all the time, begging for approval.” Annie’s mouth twisted in distaste, as if there was something bitter on her tongue. “It’s pathetic.”

Guided by a sudden surge of anger, Mikasa moved to seize Annie by her uniform jacket and pulled her to her feet. Several trainees stopped to look and murmur, but were otherwise too preoccupied with their own preparations to stick around and see what would happen. Mikasa herself did not know, she only knew her hand was trembling beyond her control, and Annie was getting some sort of entertainment out of this, judging by the brief glint in her eyes and the way her mouth stretched into a smile, wicked.

“Don’t,” Mikasa ground out, through clenched teeth. Her grip tightened, and for a moment she wasn’t sure if she was going to go through with the exercise or throttle Annie to death on the spot.

Annie quirked an eyebrow at her. “Don’t what?”

“Don’t do – this.”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Ackerman.” Annie blinked, though her voice lilted in amusement. “What exactly am I doing?”

“Provoking me.” Mikasa pulled Annie towards her, feeling the girl’s body come against hers. “Trying to get under my skin like this –”

“Does it offend you that I speak the truth?” Annie narrowed her eyes, slightly. She reached up to clutch Mikasa’s wrist, and her grip was crushing, as it had been the night before. “Maybe I’ll shut up, Ackerman. Maybe. You’re going to have to catch me, somehow. I’ll be moving fast, you know, because that’s how I operate. You’re going to have to match up, and make me stop speaking the truth. Because, honestly, I don’t feel like working with a soldier whose only reason for enlistment is a boy that only can’t wait to leave her behind.”

Mikasa stilled, an invisible knife twisting and turning itself in her gut. Annie pried her hand off her jacket in one rough movement, and reached instead to grab Mikasa by the harness, pulling her close enough that her lips grazed against her ear.

“I don’t care if he gets you killed one day, but you should at least stop acting like you’re more than that.”

And then Annie shoved her lightly, out of the way, and pushed past Mikasa.

Much later, they met with a light drizzle as they ranged through the forest, guided by Shadis, who was on horseback. Several other supervising officers rode behind them, Reinhardt included. Mikasa was jogging shoulder to shoulder with Annie, feeling completely like she had been somehow tricked into this, like Shadis had guided her, rather easily, into a trap and now she was left to suffer for it. The tight formation the trainees maintained made it impossible for her to break away and put some distance between herself and Annie, and she yearned for the chance to be soaring into the air again. At least that way, she wouldn’t have to stick so close to her partner.

The conversation had left her feeling sore, at both Annie’s boldness and the sharp accuracy of her criticism.

Mikasa had always been aware of her protectiveness of Eren, and the closeness she felt with him as a result of their childhood together. He’d saved her, in more ways than one that fateful night, the day she lost her family and found a new one in him. The red scarf wrapped snugly around her neck was a reminder of that, and she’d carried it with her ever since. Over the years, she had picked up a sense of obligation towards Eren, firmly believing that her life was his – he had, after all, risked his own to save her, though he knew her little at the time. Mikasa had never forgotten, and she would never forget. Was it really such a surprising notion that she would put his life before hers, in return?

Annie’s words pricked her deeply. Everything from over the past few days began to spill over into each other, overlapping, and came together to culminate in one huge, sodden mess, and it greatly weighed down on Mikasa in a way that had nothing to do with physical strain. Exhaustion, physical and mental, began to eat away at her. She willed herself to keep up with the group, and with Annie, remembering her challenge.

If she couldn’t get Annie to slow down, then she would have to match up instead.

The rain was growing heavier, now, and the trees rustled, as though whispering, when the wind began to pick up. Twigs snapped under her steps as she ran, the added weight of the 3D gear beginning to slow her a little, but not enough to fall away from the formation just yet. Annie kept her eyes forward, consumed with her own agenda, and seemed unaffected by the knapsack slung over her back.

It was becoming a kind of mental endurance test, Mikasa thought, as she steadily kept up with Annie and the other trainees. They eventually emerged into a clearing, coming to a stop as Shadis slowed, pulling at the reins to bring his horse to a complete halt. The remaining officers followed, and steadied their mounts as Shadis began to speak.

“This is where you begin,” he called loudly over the sound of hissing rain. “You have until evening to reach your first stop, and from there you will find your next objective. Move out!”

Annie glanced over her shoulder, looking right at Mikasa. “Well then, don’t waste my time and let me down.”

With that, Annie fired off her wires and shot up into the trees. Mikasa, not missing a beat, followed suit and tore after her, eyes fixed forward in determination and a burning desire to win this time, a new kind of eagerness coming over her like an additional layer of skin, consuming her completely until she felt like she was something new, something a lot more different than what she was before.

For better or for worse, she chased Annie through the trees with all the intention of catching up and making something out of the next three days.

* * *

She sliced through the mock Titan’s neck rather cleanly on the first pass, making a cut deep enough, and twisted in midair to turn, aiming for the next one. Wires slipped back into their coils and she pulled the triggers again, hooks shooting forth to sink into a tree branch overhead. Mikasa descended in a swift arc, swinging by the next Titan, blades at the ready when a flash of yellow and green passed her by, and she heard the sound of blades ringing out as they sank, finding their target. Annie darted past and came around again, the faintest hint of a smirk on her face.

Instead of coming to a stop to land, Annie zipped away, further into the forest, gas rushing out to propel her. Mikasa accepted this rather calmly, having expected it, and followed as closely as she could, wires hissing from their coils to find purchase in a tree, picking up momentum as she let herself swing forward. She surged forward, adrenaline coursing in her veins, and trailed after Annie as they advanced towards the next group of Titans, looming ominously beyond the trees.

Overhead, Mikasa spotted Captain Reinhardt, perched atop a platform clutching a clipboard, scribbling away as his gaze followed them, brows furrowing slightly. Something about the look in his eyes prompted Mikasa to remember what Shadis had said, just half a day earlier.

_You and your partner will be evaluated as if you were just one soldier._

“Annie, slow down!” Mikasa found herself shouting, though her request fell on deaf ears. Annie only looked over her shoulder, briefly, before resuming on her way, flying through the air as her wires caught her, sinking with a crunch into a random tree. She swung around and brought her blades down in a single fluid motion, looking completely at ease as they sliced through the mock Titan’s neck. Mikasa let out a sharp sigh, utterly frustrated, and launched forward, wires hissing angrily. Above, Reinhardt looked on, a frown forming on his face.

Annie made quick work of the remaining Titans, creaking as they turned, controlled by Training Corps soldiers stationed on the ground. Mikasa’s patience began to wear away as the cycle repeated, though she could not ignore Annie’s impressive agility and precision. The fact that Annie was beginning to make such an impression on her gave Mikasa a strange feeling; it was akin to having an itch but not knowing where it was. Under better circumstances she would have easily admitted that Annie was efficient in the field, but any chance of that was ruined by their last conversation, Annie’s cutting words and taunts.

The forest was darkening as the sun began to set, marking the time they had left. Mikasa strained to keep an eye on Annie, narrowly avoiding tree branches along the way. What little vision she had left was impeded by the thick canopy layer overhead, making the forest much darker than it actually was. The only indication she had that Annie was still nearby was the hiss and snap of wires winding back into place and shooting back out to find purchase in another tree, and another, and another.

An officer, somewhere on the ground, called out to them. “Over here!”

Mikasa dropped into a smooth landing and made her way over to the officer that was now waving them over. Annie had finally come to a stop as well, and they met with the man standing over by the tree.                     

“Good work. You two are pretty quick.” He reached into a knapsack, propped up against the side of his leg, and retrieved a tightly wrapped pack. He handed it to Annie, who took it without protest. “You’ve got two objectives next. Reach the gas supply checkpoint by the afternoon tomorrow, and refill your tanks. Then get this pack to Springer and Kirstein – the guys at the checkpoint will point you in the right direction.”

“Why would they need this?” Annie asked, before Mikasa could.

“We gave every team something different to work with,” the officer explained. “For them, it’s a shortage of food. For now. Now move along, both of you.”

They continued on their way on foot, apparently having come to some sort of unspoken truce for the night. They came upon a good enough clearing for them to set up camp, and Mikasa got right to work, scrounging the surrounding area for fallen twigs and branches to create a fire while Annie rummaged through their supplies in silence. She gathered up all that she could find and returned, dumping them onto the ground.

By the time she got a steady flame going, night had fallen, and all around them the forest seemed to melt away into a huge darkness that was almost impossible to navigate or see into. Moonlight filtered through the dense canopy layer, illuminating very little around them.

Mikasa pulled out her blades, sitting by the fire to keep warm, and checked them thoroughly, for lack of anything else to do. The officer had told them that every team had something different to work with – an unprecedented problem, perhaps, which ran the risk of ruining their operation. Things could spiral out of control very quickly in real situations, and even now Mikasa refused to take that chance.

When she looked up, at last, Annie was gone, and the knapsack along with her.

“You’re kidding,” Mikasa muttered under her breath. She got to her feet, blades sheathed, and moved to the edge of the campsite, where the firelight stretched furthest, and peered into the darkness.

 _Gone._ Mikasa felt a swell of anger.

_You’re going to have to catch me, somehow. I’ll be moving fast, you know, because that’s how I operate._

A clatter of twigs, harsh and sudden in the still, windless night – Mikasa turned, and it must have been something in her expression that indicated distress, or irritation, because Annie had a faint smile on her face, like she’d disappeared precisely to get a reaction out of her partner.

“Fire’s getting low,” she motioned towards the fire between them. It was, indeed, flickering weak, like something stubbornly fighting to stay alive. “Thought I’d get more wood.”

“More wood,” Mikasa repeated, a little lost. She suddenly felt dizzy, as she moved towards Annie, and reached out to grip the lapel of her uniform jacket, feeling the leather strain under her fingertips. She snapped a hand to Annie’s throat and pinned her up against the tree in one savage motion, observing her own movements as though it belonged to somebody else. “Do you realize what this exercise means, at all?”

Annie tipped her head back, staring up at the sky as though there was an answer to be found there. “I have a few ideas.”

“It means I have a responsibility to you now, and you to me.” Mikasa sank her nails into Annie’s skin, and forced her to meet her gaze. “It means that if you need to head out by yourself for any reason at all, you’re to inform me, as your partner –”

“Why do you care?” Annie didn’t move, but there was a dash of disbelief in her stare, like she genuinely didn’t know what to make of it, the idea of being duty-bound to someone. “Why are you pretending to –”

“No,” Mikasa growled. Realization crept over her, and she went on before Annie could muster a response. “I think you are.”

Annie’s eyes widened, just slightly. “What?”

“You’re pretending you don’t care.” Mikasa leaned over. “You think you can do without a little help, because – why? Are you afraid, Annie? What are you afraid of? What are you hiding?”

Annie’s lips drew back, flattening. Her voice was bitter as she spoke, “We all have parts of ourselves we hide.”

“I don’t want that.” Mikasa curled her fingers, just slightly, and felt the faint movement of Annie’s throat as she swallowed. Something stirred, deep inside Mikasa. “I don’t want that,” she said again, a little less certain now.

“What _do_ you want?”

“I want – responsibility. Obligation.” Mikasa worked her jaw, muscles jumping with agitation. Her hand began to tremble. “I want you to try and – depend on me.”

Blue eyes darkened, and her brows tilted. “You’re going to have to persuade me a little better.”

Without thinking, without considering it much at all, Mikasa tipped her head forward and crushed her mouth against Annie’s. She was surprised to find her mouth soft and warm, with no amount of resistance there unlike the rest of her. The stirring intensified, and Mikasa’s mind went blank.

When it finally occurred to her that she didn’t know what she was doing – she had never kissed anyone, and she was more certain she would find far more success in outrunning a Titan without gear – Mikasa broke away, the heat of her embarrassment creeping up her neck, over her collar. Annie’s hands came up to grab fistfuls of her jacket and pulled her back in, eyes flashing dangerously.

Mikasa felt her insides lurch at the sight. She had hurt her. Or angered her. She had done this, and for what?

Guilt came like a punch to the gut, knocking all the wind out of her.

"Annie, I'm sorry -"

"No. Finish what you started." It was more of a breathless request than anything. Then Annie kissed her, rough, mouth moving in a way that could only be described as insistent, as hungry, like a vulture ready to devour, its prey tight within its grasp.

There was a sudden, sharp prick of pain – Annie had bitten her lip. She pulled away, heartbeat thundering in her ears, disoriented and still as dizzy as she had been before, if not even more. Annie had a hazy look in her eyes, and had grown still. Mikasa released her, taking a step back, and put a finger to her lips. It came away with blood, and she looked at it as though unsure if it belonged to her.

Annie moved, picking up a handful of the twigs she’d gathered and tossed them into the fire. The flame rose, steadily, crackling back to life and Mikasa watched, quiet now, never once looking back at the girl who sat on the other side of the fire.

* * *

It was still dark when Mikasa woke, though the sky was visibly a lighter shade now, dawn approaching.

She found herself laying on her side, curled into a fetal position, arms wrapped around her drawn up knees. She must have dozed off last night, like this, because her muscles were stiff when she sat up and stretched. Her mind was still fogged with half-sleep by the time she could properly open her eyes. A stray gust of wind passed over her and she shivered involuntarily from it. The fire from last night had died down, leaving only an acrid smell of burnt wood and a smoking heap in the center of the clearing they occupied.

Annie was seated a distance away, reclining against a tree. Seeing her brought back the memory of last night, and the rough kiss Mikasa hadn’t at all expected along with it. She wasn’t sure if she was imagining the tingling sensation where Annie’s mouth had been, and she slowly brought a hand up to touch the closed up wound that she’d gotten.

She remembered the fleeting stranglehold of desire, like something had come over her completely and she’d lost all sense of control. There hadn’t been signs, except the stirring she’d felt somewhere deep in her gut. Mikasa knew nothing about love or romance, but she’d heard enough to know that it was supposed to be something pleasant, not aggressive and selfish and unreasonable like she had been before, hungry for dominance and something else. The raw honesty of desire was unpleasant and daunting, and she loathed thinking of what Annie now thought of her.

They broke camp some time later and continued the rest of the way on foot, plodding through the trees. Using the 3D gear would be impractical in the long run – they still had a lot more hours to go before noon, and with no Titans around there was really no point in utilizing and wasting gas. Until they needed it, it would only be a walk from here.

Which made concentrating all the harder, because Annie had somehow, overnight, eased into her predicament and stayed by Mikasa’s side as they walked, stepping over thick roots that protruded from the ground, over dead logs and fallen branches. There was no look of scorn, no scathing remark to keep things just as they had been – Mikasa had the sinking feeling that something had changed, between yesterday and now, and she couldn’t quite stop herself from feeling like it was her fault, her doing. Her nerves were scattered and it showed in her movements, stiff and jerking as though something was physically restraining her, an unseen puppet master somewhere making a fool out of her.

She found herself heaving a quiet sigh of relief when they finally located the supply team, stationed deeper in the forest. There was no sign of anyone else recognizable, except Reinhardt who came up to greet them as they neared.

“Congratulations on making it,” he said, running a hand through chestnut brown hair. He was a sturdy man, large-built with hard features that went well with the rest of him. There was a thin scar that stretched across his cheek, now that Mikasa was close enough to see, and it stretched over his mouth as well, though it looked to be long healed by now. “You can hand me your gear and we’ll do the rest. Caleb will take you through the rest.”

“Can’t we do it ourselves?” Annie asked, and Mikasa realized it was the first time she’d spoken all morning. “We’re not exactly lost on how to refill our own tanks.”

“That’s an order, Cadet Leonhart.” Reinhardt fixed a rather critical gaze on Annie. “Or are you lost on that too?”

“I –” Annie snapped her mouth shut, though there was a significant edge to her gaze that expressed more than she revealed. She was restraining herself with palpable effort, and for a moment she glanced at Mikasa. “I apologize, Captain.”

Reinhardt hummed, appeased. “It’s still the early hours.” He signaled for two of his men to come forward, and they liberated Mikasa and Annie of their gear. “Caleb will tell you what to do next.”

Caleb, a man who looked to be younger than Reinhardt by several years, stepped forward with a warm smile on his face. “Ackerman and Leonhart, correct?” He nodded, half to himself. “Walk with me.”

Mikasa could hear the faint hiss of compressed gas, from somewhere behind, as she walked alongside Caleb, Annie close behind. Caleb clasped gloved hands behind his back as he walked, his posture taut with honed discipline.

They walked for a short distance before emerging into the open air, and the air here felt lighter, as though the forest had been suffocating it somehow. They stood upon a cliff overlooking the next section of the forest, some few feet below. In the distance, Mikasa could see black specks moving across the pale morning sky, hunting birds readying themselves for their first hunt. The sun was a muted orb in the sky, shrouded by a cluster of clouds that had come sailing by, coaxed into movement by the wind.

“We’ve recently expanded the forest course beyond the river, down there.” Caleb indicated a thin stream amidst the trees, running down to join a larger body of water. “Another team of invigilators sent Connie Springer and his partner, Jean Kirstein, to a checkpoint due west of the lake. It’s marked by a red flag. They were instructed to wait for you there, once they got past the obstacle course.”

Mikasa blinked. “The obstacle course, sir?”

“Newly installed, of course,” Caleb hastened to add. “You’ll find that it will keep you on your toes. Your goal is to reach Springer and Kirstein, survive the obstacle course and dispose of any Titans you see along the way. Hopefully, it’s as realistic as real life gets. It won’t be easy. We’ve made sure of that.”

Suddenly a green flare fired into the sky, leaving a plume of green smoke trailing in the air. It had come from somewhere west of the large water body, down in the forest below, and Caleb turned to them both, his kind smile still firmly in place.

“That’ll be your friends – you’d best be on your way.”


	5. Responsibility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You want this, and you try to act like you’re above it. You act nice and responsible and all, but when you try to take me like this – you just stop there. And you expect me to take it, let you do whatever the fuck you want.” She pulled Mikasa in, just slightly. “I’m not that kind of person. So learn some real responsibility.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i expect updates will begin to slow beginning tomorrow - the new school term begins for me! thanks for all the kudos and comments - though i know it's only been 2 days since this story was published lol. 
> 
> until next time!

4

 

It took them half an hour or so to make their way down the cliff, scaling the rock face, which had plenty of grooves and handholds for Mikasa to gain adequate traction for a safe descent for such a great height.

Mikasa had been fooled, atop that cliff, that somehow the forest below could have only been a stone’s throw away. She had begun to regret that assumption as her thighs strained beneath her weight, and her arduous attempt to keep herself steady. Annie, on the other hand, had taken a rather drastic method, instead of patiently making her way down the cliff, and let her wires run freely as she hung from them, dropping far enough before using her feet to break her quick drop, pressed tightly against the rock face.

She had looked up, then, at Mikasa, as though Mikasa had been the one wasting her time, somehow dragging their travel time far longer than she should have. It had been like her display of acrobatics earlier yesterday with the bars, Mikasa grasped some time later, as they walked together. It was no more a display of skill and daring than it was a silent challenge, a test to see how long Mikasa’s mental endurance could take her actions.

The forest had grown still, and there was a jumping feeling inside Mikasa that never went away, borne of the fact that she wasn’t familiar with this area, having never ventured in these parts during training before. If Shadis had been trying to shake things up and bring their training to a whole new level, Mikasa conjectured that this was it. Real operations wouldn’t run on familiarity, especially not with the Survey Corps’ expeditions to the world beyond the Walls. Real operations kept you on edge, kept your hand near the handle of your blade, ready to snap into action at the first sighting of a Titan. Mikasa knew she would be a fool to think that life, as a soldier, life beyond the Walls, would be anything less than intimidating.

She tried to imagine what it was like to face a real Titan. She had seen them up close, of course, during the attack on Shinganshina, but she hadn’t been properly equipped then – not with gear, not with resolve and not with the obligation to retaliate, though she would have liked to.

She remembered their awful size, their smiling faces as they dived for any human they could reach. She remembered even the smell of them, putrid and unbearable, as though they had come from somewhere beneath the earth, where no fresh air ran. Mikasa wasn’t at all sure what, exactly, she would feel when she finally faced her first Titan, but she hoped she would be confident, then. She hoped the certainty drilled into her psyche over the past three years would follow her readily into battle, certainty that she was ready, that she was finally the hunter and not the prey –

Her line of thought met an abrupt end as she felt a tightness come around her ankle. She came to a stop, alarmed. Metal groaned, and something loomed over her. Annie was already running towards her as she fell over backwards, towed into the air by something unseen, dangling by a single foot.

The mock Titan came into view, and she saw that the rope around her ankle was secured to its arm, outstretched. Just beyond the foliage, she could make out several Training Corps men tugging at the ropes that operated the monster that held her. Mikasa reached up, core muscles throbbing, to cut herself loose from the Titan’s staged grip.

She heard the faint sound of booted feet, coming from somewhere behind her, and the creak of a tree branch as it strained underneath somebody’s weight. The sound of wires firing to her left caught her attention, and Mikasa turned her head just in time to see Annie in flight, blades brandished. Annie flew past her and brought her blades around to cut the rope. Mikasa plummeted towards the forest floor. She reached for her blades and pulled the triggers, wires firing off, meant to strike and sink into the Titan’s chest but instead missed.

_I fired them off too soon._

She twisted her body, tucking her knees close to her chest as she primed herself for the impact when Annie came by once more, breaking her fall as she grabbed her by the waist, an arm wrapped firmly around it. Mikasa could feel the strength in Annie’s muscles at that moment, and the slight flex there as she strained to hold her weight. They met with a rigid landing a distance away, tumbling over each other as they rolled down a steep hill, twigs and leaves catching in Mikasa’s hair.

They came to a stop at the base of the hill, Annie sprawled a distance away from Mikasa.

Panic bubbled in her chest as she scrambled to her feet, fallen leaves rustling noisily, and strode over to Annie’s unmoving form. Mikasa reached out and turned Annie so that she was no longer lying on her side, and touched a hand to the side of her face, relieved to find only some superficial cuts that weren’t deep enough to leave scars, not like Reinhardt’s.

And then, all of a sudden, Annie’s eyes flew open, and flicked over to Mikasa’s face with a rather accusing edge in them.

“Don’t you ever mind your surroundings?” she asked, looking rather unfazed for someone who had just gone through a pretty rough fall. “Move.”

Mikasa swallowed the subsiding panic back down and got to her feet, brushing off stray leaves and dirt that clung to her trousers. Annie brushed past her and walked to the base of the hill where the ground was just beginning to rise in a steep, upward curve, and Mikasa could hear the indistinct sound of a sigh.

“We’re going to have to find a way around this and get back on track. Find the river, or something. A detour.” Annie glanced over her shoulder. “Well enough to walk?”

“We could just use our gear and get back up there,” Mikasa said.

“And they’d catch us by surprise again. I’d rather avoid another troublesome fall. Don’t you?” Annie stepped towards her, looking rather resigned though mostly frustrated, and reached out a hand to flick at Mikasa’s hair, tossing it. It seemed like an overtly daring display of affection, out of nowhere, but when some few leaves and twigs rolled down her shoulder, Mikasa found herself severely underwhelmed. Of course she didn’t hold any affection for her – it was absurd.

Annie hesitated, as though aware of her thoughts, and looked back at Mikasa. “Do you remember how to walk, or did that fall take more out of you than I thought?”

Mikasa shook her head. “No, I just – thank you. For breaking my fall.”

Annie’s eyes widened, genuinely taken aback. Then, as quickly as the surprise had been there, it faded, fast, and melted into her usual look of apathy. There was, however, a note of victory in her tone as she spoke, like she had somehow won a battle Mikasa didn’t realize they had been having.

“I’m responsible for you, am I not?”

“I – yes.” After a moment’s silence, she went on, beginning to feel the same touch of guilt she had that morning. “Look, Annie – if I’m making this uncomfortable for you – I mean – last night wasn’t –”

“Yes,” Annie blinked, though she looked nor sounded affronted in the slightest. “It is. Everything about this is uncomfortable for me. But I’ll play soldier for you anyway.”

Then she turned, took a step, and began to walk. Mikasa followed, clenching her fists as though it would help to keep herself together.

Leaves rustled above as they continued their trek. There was a nagging feeling at the back of Mikasa’s mind, as she took in her surroundings. There was not even the slightest sigh of wind, and yet…

She came to a stop.

Then she finally decided to look up –

 _What is that?_  

– and froze in place.

A log came swinging down from an undetermined spot amongst the trees, strung up by several ropes that held its weight, but only barely. Mikasa could hear the strain of rope as it passed her by, hurtling towards a tree nearby. The log met its mark with a sharp crack, and slowly, the tree bent over, as though in defeat. Mikasa could see the faint cut in its body, caused by a blade or saw or something as sharp, and realized that the new obstacle course Caleb had mentioned was made up of the entire forest, mock Titans or no.

Something spurred her into action, something that edged close to fear, close to a sudden surge of anxiety, and Mikasa ran. She lunged towards Annie, tackling her out of the way of the falling tree. The ground shook with the impact of its fall, branches snapping wildly.

“Titan,” Annie said distractedly, unaffected or perhaps purposefully unaware that Mikasa had just saved her from some very troublesome injuries, and scrambled to her feet. “I’m heading up.”

“Up –” Mikasa barely had time to form a proper response before Annie surged into the air, wires hissing. She jerked when the ground shook again, another tree crashing nearby. She heard the whistle of an officer nearby, hidden somewhere amongst the trees, but soon realized that they were not the target – not exactly. Another mock Titan wheeled towards her, the newfound mobility of usually stationary targets catching her by surprise.

She rolled aside, letting the Titan pass through, and got to her feet swiftly. She shot her wires up and launched into the air. Down below, more and more Titans were emerging from the cover of the forest, and trees were toppling left and right, purposefully hacked through, so the logs would finish the job easily. Annie darted from branch to branch, before dropping down on top of a Titan. She slashed through its neck cleanly and moved on, firing her wires, to tackle the rest. Mikasa followed suit, narrowly avoiding another falling tree, and spun in midair as she brought her blades around in a sweeping arc, taking off a rather large chunk of the mock Titan’s neck.

“Fire!” someone shouted from beyond the trees. There was the distinct sound of something close to gunfire, loud and sudden. Annie’s voice reached her, distant but clear enough for Mikasa to make out her words of warning.

“To your right!”

Mikasa turned, and saw a huge net, spread widely, hurtling towards her. There was no time to evade – Mikasa readied her blades and leaped off the Titan’s back, twisting her body so she rotated in a fast, whirling motion. Her blades cut through the netting easily and she sprung free of its grasp. Her feet touched down on a branch that hung high over the scene below.

Annie was darting back and forth, expertly dodging flying debris as they shot out of seemingly nowhere, and navigating her way to the next Titan that stood waiting. She leaped forward, making a rather ambitious jump towards the Titan, and when she fell short, barely reaching, Annie fired her grappling wires again. Then something odd happened – only one wire shot out, the other missing.

Shock flickered across Annie’s countenance, and it drove Mikasa to action. She dived off the branch after her. 

Then something peculiar shot out of the trees – iron weights, tied to each other, spun uncontrollably towards the wire that would catch Annie’s fall. They caught the single wire before she could swerve out of the way, and she fell with the weight of them, dragged forcefully out of sight and past the trees beyond, like a helpless ragdoll. 

“Annie!” Her throat pained with desperation.

Mikasa fired off her wires, insides churning awfully as she searched for sight of Annie. There was a sharp, distinct crack, marking Annie’s rough landing, and Mikasa let herself fall, dropping into a quick roll before emerging in a low crouch. She could see the stray wire stretched over the ground, like a lifeless snake, and made a beeline towards it, Shadis’ voice loud and clear in her ears, as though he were right there, commanding her at that very instant.

_If your partner crumbles under their burden, shoulder that burden for them! If your partner has a broken body, carry them and make your body theirs!_

Mikasa found Annie motionless, rendered unconscious from the fall. Mikasa pulled her out of the shrubs, hacking away the parts that clung to Annie, and hauled her over her shoulder.

She could still hear the distant groaning of mock Titans moving about, and the shouts of others – Sasha and Bertolt. There was, however, no chance for her to get their attention without getting caught up in another complicated situation. She would have to leave them for now, and find a safe place. She darted off in the opposite direction, Annie heavy on her shoulder, along with the added burden of the gear. The wire dangled loosely over Mikasa’s back. 

 _The gear malfunctioned,_ Mikasa thought, troubled. _But how? It had been working before…_

 _You hand me your gear and we’ll do the rest._ Reinhardt’s words came back to her. The entire exchange did.

_Can’t we do it ourselves? We’re not exactly lost on how to refill our tanks._

Understanding flooded Mikasa, followed by a spike of anger. They had tampered with the gear, and used Caleb to distract them while they did it.

_Hopefully, it’s as realistic as real life gets. It won’t be easy. We’ve made sure of that._

Mikasa felt her temper flaring further, the more she thought about it. She would have to feel angry about it later, though she knew their reasons for the tampering, the secrecy. It didn’t make her feel any better, though, as she set Annie down by a small stream.

The first thing she did was to check Annie’s vitals. She touched a hand to Annie’s wrist, and was overtly relieved as she detected the thrum of a pulse. _Faint, but alive._ She drew away and sucked in a breath.

There was something faintly unsettling about watching Annie lay there, completely still as though she was dead. Mikasa pushed the dread from her mind and got to work with detaching Annie’s gear from the metal fixtures on her belt. She collected the entire set into her arms once done, and tossed them rather savagely onto the other side of the stream, as though to punish the gear for its failure, to blame it for the state Annie was in. She sank back down, taking deliberate breaths to calm herself.

Exhaustion rippled through her as her body shuddered on its own accord, and she curled up against Annie. She kept an ear to her chest as though afraid that somehow the heartbeat inside would stop and it was up to her to guard it with her life.

* * *

“Ackerman. Get off me.” A slight shake at the shoulder, a hand steadied against it. Mikasa’s eyelids fluttered, as she woke from slumber. The voice came again, stronger this time. “You’re weighing down on my broken arm. _Get off._ ”

_Broken… arm…?_

Mikasa suddenly shot up, eyes wide as though she hadn’t fallen asleep at all. The grogginess was fading from her fast, and she turned to look down at Annie, who was glaring at her rather openly, as though she had caused her fall in the first place. Mikasa stirred, returning to full consciousness, and gingerly reached for Annie’s unmoving arm.

“Don’t,” Annie said, scowling. “Just help me up. I want to sit up properly, at least.”

Mikasa gathered her up, as gentle as she could, and brought her over where several boulders stood, stacked against each other, by the thin stream of water. She could feel the tremors in Annie’s body as she shuddered from the pain, and felt the trembling become her own. Annie sighed, half from relief, as Mikasa helped her to sit up, propped against the boulders. There was a tired, resigned look to her eyes, as though she was properly giving up on herself, and her situation.

“Go,” she said, at last.

Mikasa blinked. “What?”

“Go and finish the job.” Annie fixed a dark gaze on her. “Bring the supplies to the checkpoint. Then you can tell them I’ve got a broken arm, and they’ll come for me –”

“No,” Mikasa said, before she could stop herself. She touched the flat of her palm to Annie’s cheek, and felt her tense beneath her touch. “No,” she said again, a little firmer this time. “I won’t leave you.”

Air rushed out through clenched teeth with a hiss. Annie shook her head. “Stop being so dramatic. This is just training. There aren’t any real Titans in here.” Something shook in her voice. “Stop it. Stop pretending.”

“I’m not pretending.” Mikasa dragged her thumb over a cut on her face. There was a dull, hollow ache in her chest she had felt only twice in her life, as though she were in mourning. “I’ve told you before.”

“I don’t care. This isn’t real. None of this is.” Annie turned her face away. “So get out of here, or you’re going to fail.”

“I _have_ failed.” Mikasa’s voice grew tight. “You’re – my responsibility.”

Annie’s expression grew cynical, though there was something horribly stricken in her voice, something sickly. “I didn’t ask to be.”

“And you don’t have to.” Mikasa turned Annie’s face back, so that their eyes could meet again. “We move as one, or we don’t move at all.”

Annie’s lips parted slightly, and her brows furrowed. When she spoke, her words took on an edge, as though in warning. “Know that you’re making this hard for me. I don’t like it.”

“I’m sorry.” Mikasa swallowed, watching the slight quiver of Annie’s mouth as brushed her thumb across her lip. “I’ll try not to, ever again.”

She took Annie’s chin in an unsteady grip and held her there for a moment. Annie’s features softened, as the agitation left her, leaving nothing but a quiet wonder in her eyes. Mikasa hesitated, remembering how she had just taken the kiss without asking, from before, and shakily drew her hand away.

Annie’s gaze tightened with what looked like irritation. “Why are you like this?”

“Like what?”

“So impossible. Infuriating.” Annie drew her lips back in a grimace. “I don’t understand. You want this, don’t you?”

Mikasa blinked. “I want – what?”

“This.” She reached up to grab a fistful of Mikasa’s hair in a punishing grip. “You want this, and you try to act like you’re above it. You act nice and responsible and all, but when you try to take me like this – you just stop there. And you expect me to take it, let you do whatever the fuck you want.” She pulled Mikasa in, just slightly. “I’m not that kind of person. So learn some real responsibility.”

Annie met her with a rather painful kiss after that, teeth clamping down hard on her lip. Mikasa winced. She cupped Annie’s face in her shaking hands, tasting the forest on her mouth as desire overcame her sense of judgment and propriety. She pulled away, just to breathe, and noticed the heated look in Annie’s gaze.

“Good,” Annie murmured, like she had been assessing and evaluating Mikasa all this time. “That’s more like it.”

Annie’s hand came around to the back of Mikasa’s head, keeping her firmly in place as they fumbled through the kiss, and from time to time someone’s teeth would scrape against the other’s, but there was no room for recovery, or for embarrassed apologies. She felt Annie stir beneath her as she hung on to her mouth, and after a while the girl moved, tilting her head to plant her lips – burning hot – on the curve of her neck. All three years of formal training had come together in that moment to stop the moan that threatened to escape.

“It’s a shame, you know,” Annie said, between shuddering breaths. “A real shame, what you’re doing to yourself.”

Mikasa stilled, bringing her face up to look at Annie. “What am I doing?”

“Clinging to Eren, when you could be so much more.” Annie closed her eyes. She sounded as though she could just be remarking on something trivial, like the weather. “Right now you’re just squandering it. Wasting all that you are.”

“So…” Mikasa struggled to find the words. “Am I more here? With you?”

Blue eyes found her again, disapproving. “No. You’re not.”

Annie wasted no time in waiting for Mikasa's response and pulled her in for another kiss. They remained like this for some time, until Annie decided to stop, breaking away suddenly. She turned her head away, silent, almost as though she'd had enough. Mikasa would have felt slighted, had she not been trying to come to terms with the fact that this was wrong, and she cared little for all that it was.

“I’m going to carry you,” Mikasa finally found her voice again, “and we’re going to reach that checkpoint together.”

For once, Annie didn’t protest. There was an unruffled certainty about her now as she turned to look, as though she had expected this to happen all along and was simply waiting to see what would happen next.

She relaxed under Mikasa’s grip and laid her head against her chest, eyes closed. Mikasa scooped Annie into her arms and rose, swaying a little, to her feet. She took several steps, tentative, and then when she adjusted herself to the additional weight in her arms, moved with clarity now, walking alongside the running stream on her right.

There would have to be a bigger stream somewhere; small ones like these wouldn’t last long without a larger one elsewhere. Mikasa thought of how Annie was like that stream now, depending on something stronger so she could survive.

There was no resounding cry of triumph from within, that she finally had Annie in a place where she could not retaliate, could not move on her own accord. There was only a overwhelming sense of guilt. Mikasa looked down. Annie was staring up at her with only one eye, the other still stubbornly closed as though she had been trying to will herself to sleep.

_Know that you’re making this hard for me._

Mikasa held Annie tighter to her body, in muted assurance, and Annie’s hard look weakened considerably, as though finally realizing that she was, in all ways, helpless.

“You know, we’re probably going to reach Connie and Jean by midnight at this rate,” Annie said, eyes coming to a close once again. She craned her neck a little, so that her nose pressed lightly against Mikasa’s chest.

“It’s still early,” Mikasa said. She looked up at the sky, and saw that it was only coming into a full, bright shade of blue now. She hadn’t slept long, then, before Annie came to. “We’ll make it.”

“You take yourself too seriously. In a real situation, this wouldn’t work,” Annie went on. “The Titans would smell us, or spot us, whatever. And then they’d come right by, swallow us whole. And that would be the end of that.”

“It would,” Mikasa agreed. “But not if I kill them first.”

Annie snorted, but there was a hint of acquiescence in her tone. “Maybe.”

Mikasa wandered alongside the little stream a while more, and finally spotted a larger body of water, running from another direction to the northeast. She walked in the opposite direction of the moving currents, and hoped that she would find the lake she’d seen earlier soon, and Connie and Jean along with it.

And then, out of nowhere from beyond the large shrubbery nearby, someone sprung out, dropped into a roll and stopped right in front of Mikasa. Jean raised his blades, and his head, and his mouth fell open as though in consternation.

“I’ll be damned,” he said, mouth quirking into a grin. “I thought you were an officer, or Shadis.”

Mikasa blinked. “You were planning to attack an officer?”

“Well – no,” Jean sheathed his blades and got to his feet, color rising to his cheeks. “I was going to threaten him and make him hand over some food. And medical supplies. Speaking of which – what’s wrong with Annie?”

“Broken arm,” Annie replied, still awake despite her appearance.

“Medical supplies?” And then Mikasa understood, for it was only Jean standing there before her, and no sight of his partner. “Where’s Connie? Did something happen to him?”

Jean’s expression darkened. “Yeah. You better follow me.”

He took them past the shrubbery, beyond the trees into a seemingly undisturbed part of the forest. The silence, save for the faint whispering of the trees and whistling of the wind, was deafening. The ground was beginning to slope up, slightly, as they advanced, and Mikasa realized that they were slowly moving upstream. Her arms were beginning to burn with strain, but she kept her lips tightly pressed together in a display of stubbornness and determination.

They emerged into a darker recess of the forest, where the canopy had all but closed off the sky from them entirely. There was a small fire, burning low, in the middle, and Mikasa saw Connie’s form laid out beside it, curled on his side, as though he was fast asleep. She set Annie down against a nearby tree and followed Jean, walking over to Connie’s side as he gripped his partner’s arm. Jean pulled, turning Connie over, and what struck Mikasa first was that he looked perfectly unharmed, but that he had a sunken look to his face that she had seen somewhere before.

“We never made it to the checkpoint,” Jean muttered, putting a hand to Connie’s forehead. “He crumbled halfway, saying he just needed some rest. He ended up sleeping, and I went to get some water, but when I came back he looked like this. That’s when I fired off the flare gun.”

Connie stirred, whimpering slightly. Beads of sweat trickled down his head, down the side of his face. When his eyes opened, slightly, his pupils were unfocused, hazy.

“Mikasa…” he croaked, and said no more. He rolled over in obvious discomfort, and Jean had to hold him steady.

“Hey, Connie. Stay with me, you stupid idiot,” Jean said, unnerved. “What do you need?”

Connie shook his head, slowly. “Bed.”

“Bed,” Jean repeated. “Dammit. He’s sick as hell, I’ve got no medicine for him and I don’t even know what the hell it is that’s bothering him.”

“You don’t know?” Mikasa looked to Jean, frowning. “What do you mean?”

Jean sighed. “I thought it was a fever, so I got some water and tried to cool him down. He got worse. I’m not sure if I can believe it’s a simple fever now.”

“Like Krista,” Mikasa murmured, understanding. “She looked like Connie, just a day before this exercise. Ymir carried her in –”

“Yeah, Ymir went apeshit, didn’t she? I’d heard about that. The guys were talking about it.” Jean pinched the bridge of his nose, as if fighting off a massive migraine or something to that effect. “Dammit. We need to find someone who can help. Shadis, or another officer. Whoever.”

“We could head backwards. There were some officers operating the Titans, and some other traps.” Mikasa glanced over her shoulder at Annie, who was resting silently by the tree. “Her gear malfunctioned, and they fired something off that yanked her down at the wire.”

“Shit. You’d think they were trying to kill us. We’re not even training to get into Survey,” Jean moaned. “Not all of us are that crazy, at least.”

Mikasa fell silent. He glanced at her and drew his lips back in an uncertain frown, realization crossing his features. “Sorry. I – I know Eren wants to enlist there –”

“It’s fine.” Mikasa got to her feet, still looking at Connie. “We should go and get help. For Connie, and Annie.”

“Yeah.” Jean nodded. “Let’s go. But give me a minute, will you? I need to check if Connie will be okay.”

He lowered himself into a crouch again, and was muttering quietly to Connie, who responded with great effort. Mikasa turned, walking over to Annie, and dropped into a squat beside her. Annie rolled her head towards her, expectant.

“You’re going to do something absolutely responsible now, aren’t you,” Annie said, raising an elegant eyebrow. “You’ve got that look about you.”

“I’m going to find someone who can help.” Mikasa brought a hand up to Annie’s face, and felt a feeble shiver there. Annie was watching her curiously, and a little fearfully. “You’ll be fine.”

“Not worried about that,” Annie groused, gaze flicking away. “Go. Don’t make me wait long.”


	6. Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m going to wait until you stop letting Eren Jaeger make your choices for you, and then maybe we can have that talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaand i'm back. i couldn't wait till the weekend, plus i just got out of a pretty terrible flu so i've had some time off from school (yay?), so here's another load of words joined together in sentences and paragraphs!!!!!! thanks so much for the comments and kudos, you guys are awesome. i cherish everything you guys give me :)
> 
> ALSO WHAT IS EREN'S EYE COLOR I CAN NEVER QUITE FIGURE IT OUT
> 
> okay i have to go back to my meds now and finish my 1000-word essay hhhaaaa
> 
> UNTIL NEXT TIME :3

Reinhardt’s expression held no measure of surprise, or shock – not in the slightest – as Caleb glanced up at him, a hand on Connie’s forehead.

“Sir. This is the third one we’ve found.”

Jean’s head snapped up, mouth falling open. “Wait – the _third_? What –”

Reinhardt held up a gloved hand, brows coming down in a deep frown. “We picked up Mina Carolina and Marco Bott a while back.”

Jean’s eyes were now impossibly wide. “M-Marco?”

Reinhardt’s eyes fell to Connie, whom Caleb was pulling – gingerly – over his back. “So far, the symptoms are similar – extreme fatigue and dehydration, an alarmingly high body temperature, a loss of self. It could be a fever, but –”

He pursed his lips.

When he spoke again his voice was soft, as if afraid of waking something dangerous and beastly within the woods. “Come. We’ll walk back and take the horses.”

Mikasa looked down, instinctive, and met Annie’s gaze. No words were exchanged but Annie extended her uninjured arm, gaze flicking away as though embarrassed that she needed even the smallest degree of assistance at all.

 _Like a lion, proud and strong – Leonhart,_ Mikasa mused. She reached over, and helped Annie to her feet. The girl swayed a little, leaning her body into Mikasa’s. Despite this she kept her gaze forward, though her hand rested lightly on Mikasa’s arm, fingers curling for proper grip. _Every bit like the name that belongs to you._

Mikasa brought Annie’s arm around her shoulders, then slid her own around her waist. She didn’t miss the glint in those blue eyes, just as Annie turned away to look at something else presumably much more interesting than miles and miles of forest.

Caleb went up to Reinhardt’s side, moving with no large amount of effort despite Connie on his back. “Will you be calling it off, sir? The exercise, I mean.”

Reinhardt let out a grunt, and shook his head. “It’s not my decision to make. Shadis must know about this, however.”

“Then –” Jean appeared beside Mikasa. “Then what about our evaluations? If we couldn’t finish…”

“There’ll be time to think about that later.” Reinhardt’s eyes were warm as he looked over his shoulder. “It seems that right now we’ve got quite a situation on our hands."

“Damn right,” Mikasa heard Jean mutter under his breath.

They passed by the large lake, and came to an outpost not long after. The horses straightened, at the sight of these unfamiliar humans, but more or less allowed Reinhardt to untie their reins, one by one. Annie mounted a grey one with such ease Mikasa might have thought her arm wasn’t too badly ruined if she didn’t know any better.

Annie tilted her chin a little, eyeing Mikasa. “Coming?”

It occurred to Mikasa that she had to share a horse with somebody. Reinhardt didn’t seem like the type, and Caleb had his hands full with Connie. Jean tried waving her over, and she saw it at the corner of her eye but made no move to acknowledge it. She stepped up on the stirrup and swung her other leg around, all too aware of how well they fit on the saddle.

“Reins,” Annie said, looking over her shoulder. “Need me to take you through the basics on this too?”

Mikasa slid her arms around Annie’s waist – perhaps with too much intent than was necessary – and took hold of the reins. Annie stiffened, and somewhere behind her, Mikasa could hear Jean groan.

Without further word, Mikasa prodded the horse into a light trot after the others ahead of them.

The ride back to camp was swift, though it was already evening by the time they came to a stop outside the infirmary and steadied the horses. Annie slipped off the saddle after Mikasa, looking like she was caught between exhaustion and frustration at her predicament. Reinhardt pushed the doors open and held them for Caleb.

Mikasa could see, already, the sleeping forms of Marco and Mina several beds down from Krista and Armin. There were several others that added to that number too, and it looked as though the medical staff on duty were beginning to be outnumbered. Medics flitted about, masked and gloved, chattering amongst themselves whenever they came to meet together in a group.

Reinhardt stepped forward to meet them, leaving Caleb and Jean to settle Connie.

 _All too worked up for a fever,_ Mikasa thought. There was a soft plop to her right and she saw that Annie had already taken her place on a vacant bed. Mikasa moved, getting out of the way of several agitated medics-in-training, and found herself sitting beside Annie some steps later.

She looked over to where Armin was, and felt her heart sink at the sight of him. There was a horrible sort of sickliness to him that made Mikasa think of death, the slowest of its kind. She swallowed the lump of anxiety in the middle of her throat and tore her gaze away.

She would not think these thoughts. Not at all.

Reinhardt returned to them moments later, a permanent scowl carved onto his face. Caleb rose to meet him.

“The head medic dispatched two-thirds of her staff to retrieve a herb from Trost. _Two-thirds_ ,” he emphasised, more to himself than to anyone else. “They could have sent for a courier. It takes less than a day to get word out to Trost –”

“Why all the hassle for one small thing?” Caleb asked, scratching his chin lightly. Lines appeared across his young features, in worry, and he seemed to age a few years on the spot. “It’s unheard of."

“Quite so.” Reinhardt glanced at Mikasa, and then at Jean, as though he’d forgotten they were there at all and only realized it now. He straightened his posture with effort. “I suggest you two take the day off. Springer and Leonhart will have to remain here, though I suspect they won’t take long with you,” he gave Annie a meaningful look. “Caleb and I will have to return to the forest and inform the good instructor.”

Mikasa watched the two men leave, and felt her body begin to finally give in to weariness. She considered taking some time to sleep in the bunkhouse, while it was still empty.

A hand landed on her thigh, and she mustered all the self-control in the world just so she wouldn’t jump out of her own skin.

“You,” blue eyes flicked in her direction, “look like shit.”

 _Oh._ Mikasa couldn’t help but frown. “Thank you?”

Annie laughed shortly through her nose. “What I mean is that you should go and get some rest. Sleep it off.”

“But I’m not –”

“But you are,” Annie interrupted, brows creasing, looking like a parent attempting to deal with a particularly problematic child. “Get out of here, or I’ll have to pretend you’re harassing me.”

Mikasa’s mouth fell open, and then she promptly closed it. Feeling admonished and made fun of at the same time, she rose to her feet and left, but not before hanging around long enough before a medic came over to attend to Annie. The girl looked absolutely annoyed by the time the medic arrived, but Mikasa was out of her hair before she could make good on her word.

Jean caught her outside, clapping a hand on her shoulder. “H-hey Mikasa!”

She stopped, then turned to face him. “Yes, Jean?”

Heat tinged his cheeks as he brought a hand up to the back of his head. “I – ah – I’m sorry about what I said. About – crazy people – and Survey and Eren –”

“And I said it was fine.” Mikasa inclined her head. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Ah, but – I have to know –” He looked up at her, the red never quite leaving his face. “Are you going to join Survey too?”

“…Yes.”

“Oh.” Jean sagged with what looked like disappointment. “I guess you really care about Eren, huh?”

“I guess so.”

There was a long moment of silence.

“Well I –” Jean shoved his hands into his pockets, glaring at the ground. “I don’t want to sound like I’m trying to tell you what to do with your life, but –” His eyes flicked up. “If following Eren means it’ll get you killed, then I’d rather you not do it at all.”

“Oh,” Mikasa said, nonplussed. “Well, I –”

“I know, I know.” Jean held his hands up to stop her. “You and Eren have history together. You might even _like_ the guy,” there was a brief edge of distaste to his voice that Mikasa chose to overlook, “but there’s a limit to how far you can go for him, right? You can’t keep thinking about him and not think about yourself. Just – take that as you will, okay?” His features softened, and he looked away. “Goodnight, Mikasa.”

“…Goodnight, Jean.”

The bunk was empty upon returning to it, eliciting a rather heavy sigh of relief. It had been a long couple of days and Mikasa wasn’t quite ready to reflect on them, to worry about Armin, go over her conversation with Jean or wonder incessantly about her recent developments with Annie, which seemed to have taken a rather sudden, sharp turn around the corner.

She stripped her uniform jacket off her and flung it onto the bed, and let her body fall against the mattress. Sleep met her like a lover in bed and wrapped its arms around her, and she drifted away.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been asleep. She woke to the warm sensation of a hand on her forehead, and someone muttering quietly, “Good.” Mikasa recognized it as Annie’s voice.

Still sprawled over her uniform jacket on the bed, Mikasa opened her eyes and looked up. Annie drew her hand away and stared down at her, brows creased with such deliberation Mikasa thought the girl might have been trying to solve the world’s mysteries while she’d been asleep. She turned, ignoring the scrutiny she was almost used to by now, body still heavy with sleep, and propped herself up against the bedpost with effort.

“Aren’t you supposed to be recovering?” Mikasa gestured to Annie’s arm, now wrapped in a long strip of bandage that snaked around her neck and knotted tightly there.

“I am,” Annie said simply. “Decided I’d like a change of scenery.”

"What - me?" Mikasa couldn't help but ask.  _This is ridiculous._ _  
_

Annie eyed her, irritated. "That was implied. I could go look at the wall, if you want."

There was a long pause. "No need. You can stay."

"Wasn't asking for permission."

Mikasa wrung her hands, bothered by the two-sidedness of Annie's attitude at present. "What's with you? One moment you're - tolerable and the next you're just -"

"Absolutely unbearable?" Annie was almost smiling, as if challenging Mikasa to say yes.

Mikasa sighed. "Not absolutely. Just - unpredictable."

"And unbearable."

"You're getting there."

Annie huffed, clearly satisfied. Their short conversation lapsed into silence, and for a while it was only the sound of light rain tapping on the window, the bed creaking whenever somebody shifted a little and the muffled rumble of thunder that came from outside.

Mikasa glanced out the window closest to her bed. There was no one in sight – perhaps Shadis didn’t want to shut the exercise down a day early, or everyone else was too far into the forest to make it back within half a day. The sky was a shade of light grey, deepening wherever the clouds gathered in great numbers. Winds began to pick up, and Mikasa could hear the hollow whistling beyond, a melancholic anthem suited to their situation at present. Her shoulders slumped a little as her thoughts strayed back to Armin, to all the sick holed up in the infirmary. She reached for the scarf around her neck and pulled it up over her nose.

“Why do you do that?”

Mikasa turned her head. Annie was still eyeing her the same way – like she was attempting to decipher something alien inscribed on her face.

“Do what?”

“That.” Annie gestured at her scarf. “You pull it up over your face like you’re afraid of catching something.”

“It –” The words clogged together in her throat, a jumbled mess. “It’s a habit. When I was younger, Eren saved me from a group of kidnappers that killed my family.” She took a moment as emotion threatened to bleed into her words. “He gave this to me. And I’ve had it ever since.”

“It comforts you, then.” Annie tilted her head. “But why do you need it?”

Mikasa blinked. “Why do I need it?”

“Why do you need the scarf if he’s still around?”

Mikasa jolted at Annie’s words, as if struck. Without waiting for a proper response of any kind, Annie continued. “You wouldn’t need it if you knew you had him the way he has you. You treat that rag like it’s actually a piece of him.” There was something close to repulsion in her blue eyes, now. “Maybe it’s because you know –”

“Stop.”

Annie fell silent straightaway, as quick as a rookie would, taking orders for the first time. Her mouth slowly came to a close, and twisted into a slight frown. Her gaze, searching and somewhat offended, lingered for a moment before she turned, slipped off the bed and padded away.

* * *

The rest of the trainees returned from the forest some hours later. The girls streamed into the bunkhouse, lively with chatter, filling the empty spaces and distracting Mikasa from her thoughts.

“Mikasa!”

She finally stopped picking at her fingernails as Sasha bounded towards her, eyes bright despite her ragged appearance. Her red hair seemed almost a shade darker now, riddled with dirt and dust, and clung to the side of Sasha’s face in clumps, a layer of perspiration on her face.

Sasha landed on Mikasa’s bed with a slight bounce. Specks of soil scattered across her clean sheets. Mikasa wrinkled her nose, but kept her face free of all expression.

“I heard you got back early with Jean. Did something happen to Annie? And Connie too?”

“Annie –” Mikasa glanced across the bunk. Annie was nowhere to be found, though she had been at her bed just minutes before. “She broke her arm. Connie was sick when we found him, so we came back early with Captain Reinhardt.”

“So it’s true then,” Sasha drew back. “There’s some kind of crazy virus that’s been spreading about.”

Mikasa could only nod. Sasha clapped a hand on her shoulder, offering her a heartening smile.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure Armin and the others will be fine!” She nodded in the direction of the door, where the trainees were already beginning to stream out. “Come on, we should go. Shadis ordered us to assemble in the canteen right after we got back.”

“What for?”

“I don’t know, but it doesn’t seem like he’s going to give us good news.”

It was already raining by the time Mikasa emerged from the bunkhouse with Sasha at her side. The deep timbre of growling thunder sounded like a warning, ominous even, and Mikasa drew the scarf a little tighter around her neck. She suddenly remembered Annie’s words, but pushed it to the back of her mind. There was no point, no sense in lingering on it, though it jabbed her for reasons that she could not explain, could not grasp.

 _Maybe it hurts because it’s true,_ a traitorous voice spoke inside her head. _Maybe they’re right, what they say –_

 _It doesn’t matter,_ Mikasa answered, and for a moment wondered if this was what it was like to be insane, to have to talk to yourself to be certain.

The canteen was filled to the brim, trainees packed in together in tight groups around every table. Sasha took Mikasa by the sleeve and pulled her along, taking no care in her step that it was a miracle she made it across the canteen without tripping over somebody’s leg or her own two feet. Reiner, Bertolt and Eren shuffled inwards to make space for Mikasa and Sasha at their table as they passed by, and they huddled together.

“Yo, Mikasa. I heard something happened to Annie during the exercise,” Reiner began, conversational. Bertolt looked up from his hands unexpectedly, but said nothing though he looked like he wanted to, but thought better of it.

“She broke her arm after a bad fall,” Mikasa said. “The obstacle course caught us by surprise.”

“Yeah, it did a number on us, too.” Reiner nodded towards Eren, smirking. “The Titans came out of nowhere, and Eren here swung right into one of them. Splat, like a little bug –”

“I was busy trying to save your skin,” Eren protested. His chest puffed out. “As I recall, you were hanging upside down –”

“Yeah, yeah,” Reiner waved him off, the smirk sliding off his face like water upon a smooth surface. “I said we were even, didn’t I?”

Eren grinned at Reiner’s indignant glare. “That you did.”

The chatter died down as Shadis stepped inside some few minutes later. Reinhardt was at his side, sharing the same grim look. The air grew thick, wrought with tension that held every trainee still.

“It has come to our attention that a number of trainees have fallen sick,” Shadis said, sweeping his gaze across the canteen. “Their symptoms have so far mirrored each other’s, and we have reason to believe that this is no simple strain of flu, or fever. Though the medical team has already departed for Trost to find the herb they believe can combat this – virus,” he held up a hand as a ripple of concern swept across the trainees, features growing darker. After a moment the murmurs receded. Shadis continued, “We don’t want to take any chances and create more problems. As such, we are putting in place a lockdown until the team returns from Trost and administers the antidote to the sick. There will be a stricter curfew, and your movements will be heavily monitored. Which means no unnecessary strolling, no aimless loitering about. You will stay in your bunks until we deem the problem dealt with, and there’ll be no room for negotiation –”

The sea of trainees began to titter and buzz again. Shadis drew his mouth into a thin line and slammed a gloved fist onto the surface of the table he stood nearest to. The trainees at the table jumped in their seats in unison, one of them letting out a rather high-pitched squeak. The entire canteen seemed to grow still, at that very moment.

“The final exams will be put on hold indefinitely, as will your graduation,” Shadis said, a little less imposing now. The hardness in his gaze subsided, and he looked somewhat close to defeat.

“Understand that this is to keep you safe. Understand that if we do not guard ourselves in the face of something unseen, then we will never stand a chance against the Titans, against what threatens to end us all.”

* * *

They were all subjected to a full body checkup the next day, and it had taken all morning – the trainees easily outnumbered the remainder of the medical team, and Reinhardt, along with several other officers, had to step in to assist them. By the time Mikasa was declared fit and released from the grasp of the medics, the sun was hanging high over her, in the middle of the sky. She found Eren standing outside, alongside Reiner and Bertolt, and met with them. As she approached, their voices grew louder and their conversation filtered in.

“…don’t like that graduation’s being put on hold, but we have to finish our training together,” Reiner said, arms crossed over his chest. “Besides, we can take the time to polish our skills before the exams.”

“If we can even find the time to practice,” Eren said, eyeing some passing guards on patrol with undisguised resentment, “or if they’ll let us.”

“I’m sure we can come to some kind of compromise,” Bertolt said. “They can’t possibly expect us to just sit in our bunks for days on end.”

“I think that’s exactly what they’re expecting.” Eren’s eyes flicked over in Mikasa’s direction, and he gave her a wave. “Hey, Mikasa. Finally out of there, huh?”

Mikasa nodded. “Healthy and fit.”

“And on our way to being utterly bored,” Eren supplied, brows coming down in a heavy frown. “As if I couldn’t wait long enough to get into Survey, and then this happens.”

There was a faint prick in her chest at his words.

“Armin didn’t fall sick just so he could delay graduation,” Mikasa said, speaking before thinking. “Eren –”

“That’s not what I’m saying!” Heat rushed to his face. “I’m just – it’s been three years. And I’m so close to getting there.” He looked off in the distance. “To getting to those Titan bastards and exterminating them.”

“Maybe you could afford to wait a little longer, eh?” Reiner nudged Eren in the side. “The survival rates from their expeditions and all other things considered.”

“I don’t care.” Eren rubbed the part where Reiner had nudged him. “Titans don’t wait before they kill. That big guy sure as hell didn't.”

Bertolt looked a little uneasy, and he stepped away for a moment, claiming he needed to do something.

“Fine. How about this, then –” Reiner slapped a hand on Eren’s back, and the boy staggered slightly. “We have a little practice session of our own tonight. We clear up enough space in our bunks and we won’t have to take a step outside to do a little bit of sparring.”

Eren’s eyes lit up. “That could work.”

Reiner turned to Mikasa now, hand falling away from Eren’s back.

“Sorry, Mikasa, but it’s only reserved for the boys, unless you want to take a step inside our smelly bunk…” Reiner grinned. “Besides, you’d probably beat everyone hands down –”

Mikasa shook her head. She had no intention in the slightest of participating. “No, it’s fine. You guys can go on ahead.”

More and more trainees were streaming away from the infirmary now, and Mikasa spotted Annie amongst them, looking effortlessly disdainful as she turned her gaze in Mikasa’s direction. For a moment it felt like the scarf around her neck was closing in on her, too tight and too hot for some reason.

“I’ll see you guys around, hopefully.” She inclined her head in a half-nod at Reiner.

“Unlikely, but sure thing.” Reiner nodded, and turned away. “Eren, I’m going to go look for Bertolt for a minute.”

“Alright,” Eren said, watching Reiner leave. As Mikasa turned to do the same, he called out to her again. “Mikasa, hold up.”

Mikasa looked over her shoulder. Eren stepped up to her side, hands digging deep into his pockets. He carefully avoided her gaze. “I didn’t mean for my words to sound so cruel.”

“I know. You do care for Armin.” She touched a hand to his arm. “And I know battling the Titans is what you’ve always wanted. Don’t worry, Eren. When the time comes, I’ll join Survey with you and we can –" 

“What?” Eren gaped at her. “Why – why would you?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because you don’t have to! Because you’re good at what you do! You’re probably going to graduate at the top of the class, and you know what that means.” Eren pried her hand from his arm. “You can join the Military Police.”

Mikasa shook her head. “I won’t do that – not unless you tell me you’re joining the Military Police as well –”

“Why?” Eren’s features knotted in puzzlement. “I don’t get it, Mikasa. Why do you keep following me around like it – it’s your responsibility?”

Mikasa felt her throat close up. Eren was still staring at her, expecting an answer, but her grasp on language and articulation seemed to have fled completely. A moment passed and Eren seemed none too pleased, brows clamping down in a scowl. He stepped over, in front of her, and for one wild moment Mikasa thought he’d just storm off and leave her here.

“Look,” Eren said at last, taking a step closer to her. “I know you think that you’re better than me. I know you think that because of that, you can protect me from the Titans. That somehow, it’s always going to be up to you to save my life. But I don’t need you to. Listen –” He seized her by the shoulders, and shook her once. “I can handle myself. We’re not children anymore. I’ve trained as hard as you have these last three years, okay? I’m not – inferior.”

He drew back, and his hands left her shoulders. Mikasa found her voice as Eren finished – but it sounded foreign, like it didn’t belong to her.

“I know.” She looked away, chest constricting so much she was starting to find it difficult to breathe. “I know you’re capable, Eren. But –”

“But _nothing,_ Mikasa. You don’t have to babysit me all the time just because –” Eren looked away. “Just because Mom always made you.”

“I did it because I cared.” _Breathe_. “I still care.”

“I get that, geez.” Eren waved her off. “But you’re not my keeper. You don’t have to follow me to Survey just because you _care_.”

 _Breathe._ “Then what am I supposed to do?”

Eren crossed his arms over his chest. “Do what you want! Anything. Anything at all!”

“And what I want is to join Survey with you.”

“You –” Eren shook his head. “Why do I even bother? You’re just going to do the opposite of what I tell you anyway.”

“So I will,” Mikasa reflected, wistful.

Eren grunted. “Shit, whatever. Fine. Join Survey.” He shrugged. “Kill Titans. Kill Titans _for me_ , so I won’t die.” And then, a little softer: “Like hell I’m going to let them kill me before I take them out.”

“Eren…” She struggled with breathing and forming a proper response. “I just want you to be safe.”

“And I will be! God, you’re like –” Eren makes a vague gesture in an attempt to articulate his thoughts. “You’re like Mom! Only difference is that you don’t try and keep me from Survey, but you follow me instead.”

“Is it really that bad? That I would follow you there?” _To the ends of the earth?_

“No –” Eren flushed. “It’s not like that. I just…”

“Then what is it?”

“ _I’m growing up!_ ”

Several trainees that had stopped by to listen in suddenly began to find something else much more remarkable and scurried away as Eren’s voice escalated.

“You always tell me you _know_ I’m capable, you _know_ I’m strong –”

“Eren –”

“– but you always say that you _have_ to protect me anyway –”

 _Stop this childishness!_ Carla Jaeger’s voice rang out loud in her skull. _Eren, I don’t want you getting any foolish, prideful ideas just because you’ve grown several inches since last summer –_

Grisha, so kind, so understanding, came to greet her in the dark –

_Eren, don’t resent your sister. As your father I’m relieved she’s around to save you from some rather troublesome injuries, and as a doctor I’m relieved she helps me save me some extra medical supplies every now and then –_

“But I’m better now, and everyone can see that! I don’t need you anymore –”

She slapped him without thinking. His words felt like a dull blade carving into her flesh, slow and agonizing in its descent. She brought a hand across Eren’s face, striking him with such finality that she could feel it herself – something cracked inside as she watched him stumble.

“Eren,” she said, calmer than she had expected herself to be. “Despite what you may think, I don’t see myself as better than you. At least, as far as I’m concerned, I was never racing against you in terms of skill or proficiency at Titan-killing.” Eren’s eyes widened, first with rage and then with realization as she went on. “Now I think I know – I was racing to get to the Titans first, so I could stop them before they hurt you, or took you from me. You’re important to me. I don’t know how much of it you believe or how much of it you understand, but you are. But I see that you’re doing fine without me, and that I’m somehow intruding on that certainty. I will try not to make that mistake again.”

Eren’s face lost all color, and his mouth fell open without making a sound. His hand was still on his cheek, the area where she had struck him beginning to well and redden. Mikasa took a step back away from him, and realized that she was trembling. Then she took another step, and another.

And then she turned her back to him, and broke into a run, not at all sure where she was intending to go.

* * *

She watched the sky darken as the hours passed, and soon there was nothing to look at and distract herself with – no birds to watch, no clouds in sight for her to make out their shapes. Night shrouded her in a blanket of shadows, like a mother come to comfort her child in the throes of a nightmare. And yet, Mikasa knew, this was no nightmare – this was reality. 

A small part of her remained obstinate, however. Her thoughts strayed, and she found herself coming back to the same ones again, like someone walking in stubborn circles.

_Is it true, Eren?_

She stood on the edge of the cliff beyond the training field, overlooking the forest and its lake. The moon emerged from behind the clouds; its silvery light fell over the forest and lake, giving everything a faint, ethereal quality. On the lake surface, the water rippled at the coaxing of the wind, and fractured moonlight glittered across it like many tiny stars, winking at Mikasa from far away.

_Is that really how you feel about me? I only ever wanted… to keep my family safe. Did you know that?_

She blinked back at them, and hot tears she didn’t know she’d been holding back sprung forth like water from a bursting dam. Her hand shot up to catch them, rolling down her cheeks, and she wiped them away quick, but the tears couldn’t – wouldn’t – stop. Furious at her body’s betrayal, Mikasa dropped her face into her hands. Teeth clenched until they ached. Her throat was wound tight, as though a hand was closed around it. She soon realized she was shaking from silent, racking sobs, and not from the chilly wind that tried to soothe her.

Mikasa remained this way for some time, until the light scraping of boot against dried soil caught her attention. She dared to hope it was Eren, come to talk to her again, and she turned with an apology at the tip of her tongue –

Blue eyes showed themselves where green eyes should have been, glimmering in the pale light. There was a dull ache in Mikasa’s chest and her shoulders fell.

“You shouldn’t be here –”

Annie waved her off. There was a wistful look about her as she approached.

“I know.”

Mikasa opened her mouth to protest, but Annie moved quicker than she had anticipated. An arm reached around her shoulders, pulling her forward. Warm lips found her forehead in a kiss. A welter of emotions rose within Mikasa and she felt the strength leave her body. She anchored herself there, arms winding around Annie’s waist, and she pressed her nose into the crook of her neck, like a ship trying to keep afloat on tempestuous waters.

Somehow she ended up with her head in Annie’s lap, facing away from the forest beyond the cliff. A hand lingered on her hair, fingers running through it. The sensation of it grew so consoling that Mikasa relaxed completely, letting herself drift into slumber, not at all afraid of what might meet her in the dark anymore.

She was on the verge of slipping away, half-conscious but still awake enough to hear Annie’s murmurs when they reached her.

“You don’t know a thing, do you,” Annie said, probably on the assumption that Mikasa was in deep sleep by now. Mikasa held herself, religiously still. “About what I see from here. About how I see you.”

There was the faintest flutter of something in Mikasa’s chest, like a bird learning to take flight for the first time.

“I don’t even know why I’m saying this. Maybe because I know you’ll never hear me?” A pause. “This was never meant to happen, you know. I’m not – I’m not the type of person to –”

Annie sucked in a breath, as though in pain.

“You – scare me. Fuck.” Mikasa could hear the scowl in her voice, along with some measure of wounded pride. “You know, maybe you should wake up and tell me that I scare you, too. Take some damn responsibility, like you always preach. Then maybe we could –”

Annie let out a quiet huff, cutting herself off, and Mikasa realized that she was laughing. When she spoke again, her voice was brittle and bitter.

“No. I’m going to have to wait a while, won’t I?”

Fingers returned to lace themselves in Mikasa’s hair, like she, too, needed some anchoring herself. Some certainty returned to her words.

“I’m going to wait until you stop letting Eren Jaeger make your choices for you, and then maybe we can have that talk.”


	7. Important Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You think ahead because you want to live. You might think self-preservation isn't important. But soldiers who just charge into battle, following orders – that’s brave, but if you end up dead then who’s going to thank you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love you guys HERE'S SOME STORY DEVELOPMENT 
> 
> just a fun fact i like to edit already published chapters whenever necessary, whether it's tweaking dialogue or adding/removing words. nothing big, to be honest, but if i do something huge like rearrange scenes, rework them or add new ones, i'll be sure to let you guys know so you can backpedal a bit and have a look. the only time everything cements is actually when i finish with the story; i like to treat it with as much consideration as possible and i try not to be too rigid about what stays and what goes, because sometimes my perspective might change and yay active writing process.
> 
> (BIG UNIVERSE-SIZED THANK YOUS to my wonderful beta-readers and dear friends MJ and Champa. Thanks for being such big supporters of my crazy fic writing habits.)
> 
> you guys = amazing ok

“Ah, hold it. No one’s allowed to enter the sickbay, cadet.”

Mikasa stopped her approach just short of the double doors. Reinhardt offered her a sympathetic smile, and when she didn’t answer him or summon up a protest, he shook his head again.

“Shadis’ orders, I’m afraid. Don’t want any of you brats catching the same thing. Not even if you hold your breath.”

“How long more?” Mikasa asked, after letting a moment pass. “Before they get better.”

Reinhardt opened his mouth, but no answer came forth. He promptly snapped it shut again, smile fading a little. It was a telling sight, and it made the churning in her stomach intensify. It had been a week since Armin fell in the forest. A week, and things had managed to come so far. Mikasa couldn't tell if she was feeling fearful or angry. 

Seemingly sensing her discomfort, Reinhardt took a step forward and clapped a hand on her shoulder. A meaningful gesture, meant to comfort, but it was clear he had no answers. He could not quite meet her eyes, almost like he had failed her, somehow.

“Come and walk with me, cadet.”

Mikasa fell into step with him after throwing one last glance at the infirmary. All the curtains were drawn, much to her disappointment. She turned her gaze forward, and for a moment she walked with Reinhardt in silence. Passing guards looked their way suspiciously. Mikasa realized she still couldn't get used to the disquieting emptiness of the camp, and the unfamiliarity that came along with it as though it was her first time entering this place.

“Look,” Reinhardt started, at last. “I understand your concerns. This isn’t something you can accept.”

Mikasa glanced at him.

“It’s been a week too long,” the chestnut-haired captain went on, hands clasped behind his back, “and even I’m getting a little edgy. All your supervising officers are. Do you understand?”

“I do,” Mikasa said. “Sir.”

“Good, good.” Reinhardt nodded. “You’re a good soldier, Ackerman. Top of the class – no doubt about it.”

Mikasa inclined her head. “Yes, sir.”

“You know what makes an excellent soldier, Ackerman?”

 _Proficiency. Efficiency. The ability to take orders without question._ Mikasa went through all the possible answers, collected over a span of three years. Too many things made a good soldier. _Bravery. Loyalty. No retreating at the front lines. You don’t leave a man behind. Watch out for one another._

“A lot of things, all at once,” Mikasa finally said. “Someone useful.”

Reinhardt’s smile never reached his eyes. “Yes, I suppose that would be it, wouldn’t it?” They were nearly at the stables now. Mikasa wondered where they were going. “A lot of things. How do you feel after three years here? Do you feel like all of those things? Do you feel useful?”

She managed a shrug, and a pragmatic enough answer. “I endeavor to.”

Reinhardt laughed. “Yes, I imagine you would. An excellent soldier in my book,” he went on, turning his gaze forward, “knows how to think and come up with a good course of action in the field. When they think not just for their own survival, but for their comrades’ survival as well. Because that’s what soldiers must do, above all else. _Survive_.”

“Survive.” Mikasa nodded, understanding, though she wasn’t quite sure where he was going with this. Was he just distracting her so she would stay away from the infirmary? “Yes, I think I understand.”

“You think ahead not because you want to be the one to take down a lot of Titans.” Reinhardt was looking at her again. “You think ahead because you want to live. You might think self-preservation isn't important. But soldiers who just charge into battle, following orders – that’s brave, but if you end up dead then who’s going to thank you?”

 _So learn some real responsibility._ Annie’s words in the forest came back to her, to complement Reinhardt’s.

And then, Jean’s - _if following Eren means it’ll get you killed, then I’d rather you not do it at all._

Reinhardt slid to a stop. Mikasa halted in her tracks as well. The captain ran a calloused hand through his hair, looking to be deep in thought.

“Mikasa,” he finally spoke again. Mikasa noted the sudden use of her first name, and straightened her back a little more. “You understand why I’m telling you all of this?”

She cogitated for a moment. _Of course._ The purpose was clear. “To tell me what a good soldier is, so I can become that soldier.”

“And? Can you?”

“I –”

“Don’t tell me you’ll try,” Reinhardt said, a dark edge coming on to his voice. “You can tell me you will, or you can tell me you won’t. Then we can move on.”

Mikasa sucked in a breath. “I will. Sir.”

“Good.” Reinhardt nodded again. He lifted his head and looked around, searching, and when no one appeared in sight his posture relaxed significantly. “There have been… complications of late, regarding the status on the medical team dispatched to Trost. It turns out that they didn’t go to Trost, after all – they _passed through_.” He watched her carefully, making sure she was still listening. “They left Wall Rose five days ago, and there’s been no word since.”

There was a jumping sensation in Mikasa’s chest as she took his words in. “Titans?”

"Most likely. I'm running a little low on optimism at this point." Reinhardt grimaced. “The last five days have been spent trying to get a hold of Survey, but they’re tied up in one of their expeditions.” Reinhardt lowered his voice. “Now, Shadis wouldn’t take this lying down, but he’s been –”

“He’s sick too.” Dread came over her. “Instructor Shadis is sick, and…” She waited.

Reinhardt swallowed. “And the older guys don’t think it’s worth risking their lives over – to head out into Titan territory to find the medical team, or the cure, or try reaching Survey.”

Mikasa’s head spun a little. _Why wouldn't they?_  “Why are you telling _me_ , sir?”

“Because no one here is willing to be a _good soldier_ ,” Reinhardt growled out, “and as much as I hate the idea of sending rookies out into the field –”

“You want us to go and fetch the cure, sir?”

Reinhardt made a noise of disapproval, bristling. “I won’t give you that order, Mikasa. I’ve already got a batch of trainees sick and dying. I’m not about to send another batch out to be handled and eaten by Titans.” He looked up, checking again if anyone was within earshot. “But I won’t stop you if you wanted to. And I’d come along as well.”

“Why not – wait for the Survey Corps to return?” Mikasa frowned. If anyone was capable of succeeding in a mission to retrieve - hopefully still alive - missing soldiers, the cure and fend off the Titans well enough, it would be the Survey Corps' finest. The thought of having someone seasoned enough on their side was like the light at the end of the tunnel. Mikasa couldn't not depend on that idea. There was too much at stake.

“I can’t wait. The old men up there can, but I sure as hell can’t.” Reinhardt grimaced. “Not with a dead kid on our hands.”

“Dead,” echoed Mikasa. She abandoned all thoughts of the Survey Corps immediately. Her heart seemed to plunge to the bottom of her stomach. “Someone’s dead?” _Who is it? Armin? Krista?_

“Herman Engel." He let out a long sigh. "Sweet kid, didn't have a single word of complaint all the time that they were running tests on him. And then... God. You'd think he was only sleeping.”

Reinhardt paused, and looked away. Mikasa tried not to appear too relieved at the news, though on the inside she was glad it wasn’t Armin.

“It’s being kept under wraps, of course," Reinhardt finally went on. " _They_ want to wait for Survey to come back from their expedition, as well, but what makes you think they’ll be in any shape to head out again? What makes you think anyone cares whether a bunch of rookies die from a virus or Titans?” He shook his head, disgusted. “They’re resting in the fact that there’ll be a 105th to start over with. An ugly truth. There are no good soldiers here. But you – I think I can work with you. Will you allow it?”

Mikasa snapped into a smart salute, recognizing the meaning in his words. _I’d do anything. I’d do anything to make sure Armin’s okay. Ensure his survival. Their survival._

“Alright. I want you to pick out others,” Reinhardt said, after nodding at her salute. “Those who are willing and capable. I don’t want anyone who’ll run at the first sighting of a Titan. I don’t need those. I need soldiers who can fight, and who can live.”

Mikasa already had a few names in mind. She knew who would say yes. The last three years had given her that sort of confidence in her comrades, at least. It was a far cry from what she had with Armin and Eren, but they weren't just casual friends, or childhood playmates. They were soldiers-in-arms. 

No one could forget that, even if they tried.

* * *

Ymir had been the first person Mikasa found, hanging around by the well with a listless expression on her face. The depth of her affections for Krista was not a heavily kept secret. Mikasa used it to her advantage, and found the first willing soldier to fight. 

“I’m going to fucking _kill_ those old geezers when we get back.”

The news of the virus taking its first life didn’t sit well with her. She had crushed a bucket beneath her boot in a demonstration, and Mikasa decided it was good enough.

She managed to pull Reiner in as well, and by extension Bertolt. The two seemed eager to help at the mention of a possible cure, the idea of roaming in Titan territory doing absolutely nothing to change their minds. Reiner was brave, and Bertolt knew what had to be done. Mikasa found herself a little relieved to have them on her side.

“Hey, Mikasa,” Bertolt called, just before she turned to leave. He leaned over a little, dropping his voice. “Do you want me to tell Eren about this, too? He’ll want to come, I’m sure.”

The subject of Eren was still uncomfortable, like a lingering scab she dearly wanted to pick at, but she showed nothing of it. “That would be good.” She looked away. “He’ll want to.”

“Alright, then.” Bertolt smiled, kind and considerate. “See you tonight.”

Sasha was hovering near the officers’ storage when Mikasa came up to her. She let out a shrill screech as Mikasa touched a hand to her shoulder, and went into the most ridiculous combat stance Mikasa had ever seen. One leg lifted, and both arms spread out like wings. Mikasa’s mouth twitched a little at the sight. _Should I even be asking her?_

“Oh, Mikasa!” Sasha dropped her stance. “Sheesh, you scared me!”

“Sasha, stop thinking about potatoes for a moment and listen to me.”

When she finished, Sasha was practically leaning on to her for support. Her eyes glistened, and her voice shook as she spoke. “Herman – I didn’t know him, but Dazz did. Oh God,” she put a hand to her forehead. “He’s going to be so devastated.”

“I know.”

“I’m in.” Sasha smiled weakly. “Can’t be stealing potatoes everyday, now, can I?”

 _You do actually do it everyday,_ Mikasa mused. “Good. I’ll see you tonight at the bunkhouse. I’ve got someone else to find.”

* * *

Annie looked up at her from where she sat on her bed, eyes sparkling with disdain, offended by something yet unknown to Mikasa. “Finally. A visit.” 

“Your arm’s fine,” Mikasa observed flatly, though she remained largely uncertain whether Annie had been truly waiting for her or just decided to mess around with something she didn’t really care for.

A glare darkened Annie’s features. Despite this, she patted the spot beside her. “Sit.”

Mikasa slid next to her, and almost automatically Annie was leaning a little into her. Mikasa tried not to overthink it, and kept herself focused on the task at hand. “I need to talk to you.”

“So talk.” Annie drew her knees up to her chest, eyeing Mikasa expectantly.

“Reinhardt was talking to me about the sick,” said Mikasa, and could feel Annie applying a bit more pressure in response. “He told me someone just died, and that they were keeping it a secret.”

“Armin?” There was an awful tremor in her voice, something that skittered close to genuine concern. Mikasa wasn't quite sure when Annie had started getting close to Armin. "Is it him?"

Mikasa shook her head a little too vigorously, and her head swam. It was impossible to stomach the thought of Armin dead and gone forever, even if it wasn’t true. “No," she said. "Armin’s okay.”

Annie relaxed visibly, the set of her shoulders coming down a little. Her mouth remained in an unpleasant grimace. “Go on.”

“The medical team’s gone missing after entering Titan territory beyond Rose. Attempts have been made to contact the Survey Corps for help, but they’re still away on expedition.” Mikasa could feel the anxiety return to her in waves, the more she reiterated Reinhardt’s words. “He doesn’t want to wait for more people to die. The higher ups are –”

“Corrupt and lazy,” Annie finished for her, eyebrows coming down in a disapproving frown. There was an awful certainty in her eyes that crushed all hopes Mikasa had that their superior officers might have even a modicum of righteousness left. “You want me to join you, then.”

“Yes.”

Annie considered this for a moment, humming thoughtfully. “I don’t have much of a choice. Responsibility, and all that, right?”

“You can say no. I wouldn’t hold it against you.”

“For what? Being afraid?” Annie narrowed her eyes, clearly insulted at the implication. “You’re going to need me out there and you know it.”

“I do,” Mikasa found herself saying. “You’re right. I’m sorry to assume.”

Annie’s frown faded a little. “So,” she said, quiet. “Breaking the rules, huh?”

“It’s necessary. Isn’t it?”

Her voice grew distant; far away. “Sometimes we break the rules because something’s important to us.”

Mikasa tilted her head. _What’s important to you?_ she wanted to ask. The ambiguous speech Annie had given some nights back returned to the front of Mikasa’s mind. She fought off the urge to tell Annie she’d heard her, loud and clear, and forced herself to turn away.

“What are you thinking?” asked Annie.

“About how a group of rookies are going to pull it off.” She hadn’t really given it much thought, not at the time when Reinhardt had spoken to her. All she had thought about was seizing the chance to do something to help Armin.

“Panicking already?”

Mikasa straightened at the words. “No. I’m actually a little relieved.”

Annie snorted. “Hated not being able to fight?”

“That seems to be it,” Mikasa admitted with a slow nod. “I can’t fight something I can’t see. But I can fight Titans to make it better.”

“You sound just like Eren.”

Mikasa gave Annie a sidelong glance. A ghost of a smile appeared on Annie’s face.

“It’s just an observation." Annie shrugged, non-committal. "You’re kind of a beast, aren’t you? Fighting’s all you know.”

Mikasa dropped her gaze to her hands. They were calloused, now, and not quite like the hands she'd had back then, before she learnt how to pick up the sword. She remembered nothing of smooth, unworked hands - not anymore. “I don't know much else.”

Annie closed her hands around Mikasa's. Her gaze was soft, almost as though she knew what was going on in her mind at present. Then, slowly, she leaned forward to kiss the corner of her mouth. When she spoke, her breath was hot against Mikasa's skin.

“Learn a few new things, now and then.” She was murmuring against her jaw now, throaty. “Stop thinking about who you’ve become and think about who you can be.”

“Hard,” Mikasa managed. She craned her neck to give Annie more room. How long had she been waiting to do this? “Easier – said than done.”

“Really?” There was a slight nip, then a sharp pain. Mikasa let out a hiss, feeling like an animal caught in a snare. “I think about it all the time.”

“So who do you want to be, then?”

Annie drew her head back, thinning her lips as though in contemplation. “I suddenly don’t feel like talking anymore. Strange, isn't it,” she said, before coming down again to kiss Mikasa on the lips, deliberate and purposeful.

Then there was the wet flick of a tongue, and Mikasa felt her entire body stiffen. Annie was moving, sitting on her lap now, hands still holding her face. There was another kiss, and then a grunt of disapproval. Annie drew back, and pulled the scarf from around Mikasa’s neck – so quickly it might have left a bit of a burn.

“Stupid thing’s getting in the way,” Annie growled, but made no further fuss. She leaned in again and Mikasa tilted her chin a little, meeting her in another kiss.

Then, all of a sudden, Annie pulled back. Her brows came down in a little frown.

“What are you doing,” she said flatly.

“What?” Mikasa blinked.

“You’re not doing anything.” Hands fell away. “Can you at least – _try_ to kiss me back?” Spots of pink tinged Annie’s pale cheeks. “Some teamwork, there. Are you afraid?”

“I’m not afraid of you,” Mikasa answered immediately.

Annie’s gaze softened, so quickly Mikasa thought she might have been hurt somehow by the remark.

“Not me. The kissing. _Idiot._ ”

“Oh – I –” Mikasa looked down, letting her hair fall as a curtain between her and Annie. “I’m not that – I’m not good at that.”

There was a brief snort. “Good,” Annie echoed, incredulous. “You know what you’re good at then, I guess. _Good_ at killing Titans. _Good_ at using the 3D gear. Good at being so ridiculous.”

“Comes with practice,” Mikasa mumbled.

A hand came to tilt her face up. Annie’s smile was wicked, and so full of it. “And you’re learning from the best.”

Annie moved to kiss her again. Mikasa fumbled a little as she tried to reciprocate, almost certain that nothing good would come of constant clumsy kissing, teeth scraping, but Annie’s hand had come around the back of her head to keep her firmly in place. _No moving,_ she seemed to be saying. _Not a chance in hell._

There was a sudden click, somewhere. Mikasa opened her eyes. Her vision was filled with Annie, blonde hair and pale skin and all –

She had to stop herself from pulling away in a knee-jerk reaction when she realized Annie was trying to undo her harness. Annie looked up, lifting an eyebrow, but Mikasa left them no room for conversation. She tipped her head in, and kissed Annie as hard as she could, whether to encourage her or fend her off, she wasn’t quite sure herself.

Annie seemed to take this well, and all of a sudden there was a frightening roll of her hips that nearly sent Mikasa out of her mind. Something was stirring, hot and heavy, at the bottom of her stomach, reaching maybe even lower than that –

Buttons. Annie was – unbuttoning –

“Relax,” Annie said in a low murmur. “You look like you’re going to hurl, Ackerman.”

“Not – hurling,” Mikasa bit out.

“Good,” Annie said, and continued her descent down Mikasa’s shirt, buttons coming away rather easily. 

Mikasa was certain she was burning at the cheeks now. Annie's lips were moving, slowly, along the line of her collarbone. Her shirt had opened up, almost completely. Her hands tugged at Annie’s waist, to make her stop or not to _oh god this feels –_

There was a sudden creak of the door and Annie all but slid across the bed to put a friendly distance between the both of them. Mikasa redid her buttons, heart hammering at the thought of being seen like this. She looked up and saw the furious heat in Annie’s cheeks, standing out brilliantly against her pale skin. It was a little attractive, but now wasn’t the time to be considering Annie’s aesthetic qualities. _Inappropriate. We’re caught in a compromising –_

“Oh, hey guys,” Sasha skipped by, oblivious. “We’re meeting here, right?”

“Right,” Mikasa said quickly, gaze darting away as Annie whipped her head up to give her an accusing glare. She realized her harness was still undone with a surge of panic, but Sasha hadn’t made a single comment, or given anyone weird looks. Mikasa pulled her uniform jacket to cover her chest. “You’re early.”

“Yeah, I was gonna take a nap. Uhhh, could you wake me later?”

“Sure thing.” Mikasa glanced back at Annie, and realized the girl was still glaring.

Annie let Sasha snore for a minute or two before reaching for Mikasa’s collar. “You,” she hissed, low and dangerous, “could have told me.”

Mikasa shrugged her off. “You could have been less distracting so I’d remember.”

Annie scoffed. “Compliments won’t get you anywhere.”

“I wasn’t complimenting you.”

“Yeah.” Annie leaned back, snorting. “I believe you.”

“I’d know if I was,” Mikasa insisted.

Annie closed her eyes, and it took Mikasa several seconds to realize that she was pointedly being ignored.

“Unbearable,” Mikasa murmured under her breath, and swore she saw the corners of Annie’s mouth coming up in a little smirk.

* * *

“How is this happening, again?” Eren’s features scrunched up a little. “I’m a little confused on the details – ow!" 

Reiner had brought a hand down – hard – on Eren’s back. “Alright, Eren. Let me give you the rundown again. And pay attention this time, maybe.”

“I was –” Eren began to protest, but Reiner clapped a hand to his mouth and started taking him through the plan again.

It was strange to be in the same room as him, especially after their altercation, but Mikasa had wanted Eren here. And even if she didn’t, Eren would have come on his own accord anyway. It was in his nature to do so. There was no real way to avoid him now, so Mikasa kept her gaze firmly planted on the map laid out before them.

They were headed to a large forest just northwest of Trost, beyond the wall. Reinhardt had marked out the Survey Corps’ expedition destination – not too far from the forest they needed to reach. The plan was to split into two teams – a two-man team would ride ahead to locate the Survey expedition while the rest headed for the northwestern forest in search of the medical team.

“I know the area well enough,” Reinhardt said. “I can ride ahead to find the Survey expedition team. Jaeger, I’ll need you to come with me.”

Eren straightened at Reinhardt’s request and his chest puffed out a little. “Yes sir!”

“The remainder of you will head to the forest but  _stick to the trees_ ,” Reinhardt turned his gaze to the rest, “while you look for any signs of passing, or the medical team itself. The desired herb is actually a purple flower with a blood red center – I found out that much from the head medic. If you encounter the medical team first, you are to join up with them before continuing your search. Reiner Braun, I will be putting you in charge.”

Reiner inclined his head. “Yes sir.”

“Any questions?” Reinhardt swept his gaze across the small number of them. “Good. We’ll break camp just before dawn. I will prepare the horses and our gear by the stables.”

“How are we going to get past Trost without raising suspicions?” Bertolt asked, a sweat forming on his brow.

“Yeah, yeah!” Sasha leaned forward, eyes widening. “Unless maybe we move quick enough?”

“Like they’re just going to let us waltz out,” Ymir sneered. “Crawl or run, it wouldn’t make much of a damn difference.”

“With any luck, the Garrison won’t bother giving chase. Anyone who isn’t from Survey isn’t likely to venture out into Titan territory. I can count on their irresponsibility, for once,” Reinhardt said, thoughtfully serious. “Though don’t ever tell Commander Pixis I said such a thing.”

Eren was grinning. “Finally, some action!”

His enthusiasm waned a little when he met Mikasa’s gaze and he ducked his head, whether out of embarrassment or lingering resentment Mikasa could not know. She turned away as well, and met Reinhardt’s solid gaze. She remembered his words.

 _An excellent soldier in my book_   _knows how to think and come up with a good course of action in the field. When they think not just for their own survival, but for their comrades’ survival as well._

She understood. And could do little else but remember his words by heart.

* * *

Sleep eluded her that night. 

Mikasa sat on the front porch of the bunkhouse, picking at her nails for lack of anything better to do. There was a rough creak of a window being opened, somewhere to her right, and Mikasa turned her head to look. A window had indeed opened – Sasha’s head popped out, eyes wide with something Mikasa could only describe as mad thrill.

Sasha turned her head and spotted Mikasa. Her mouth formed a perfect O and she all but leaped out the window. She scurried to Mikasa’s side.

“I knew you were out here!” she said, conspiratorial. “You were waiting, weren’t you?”

“Um –” Mikasa blinked. “Waiting for?”

“To raid the pantry with me.”

“Where did you draw that conclusion?” asked Mikasa, frowning. She was no thief, and no obsessive lover of potatoes either, let alone late night snacks.

“Oh, you’re not,” Sasha’s shoulders drooped. “I guess I thought you were hungry or something, that’s why you couldn’t sleep.”

“That’s not why I’m out here.”

“Ah, well. I was hoping. Connie's usually the one who helps out... anyway.” Sasha plopped down beside her, content to be here anyway. “Let me guess why you're out here… Eren?” When Mikasa glanced at her, she offered her a shrug. “I happened to be there when you two were arguing. It was rough, huh?”

“I’m not really in the mood to talk about it.”

“Okay.” Sasha patted her awkwardly on the shoulder. “I just – you know – I totally understand why you’d insist.”

“You do?” Mikasa inclined her head. “Really?”

“I guess it’s all you know?” Sasha shrugged again. “When something becomes your whole life, it’s kind of hard to – live apart from it. A natural instinct, kind of.” She shook her head. “I might be silly about it –”

“No,” Mikasa murmured. “You’re right.” _A natural instinct. To protect you, Eren. To be by your side._

“Kind of like me and food,” Sasha continued, half-grinning. “And stealing.” After a moment she grew serious, and her tone was full of apology. “I don’t mean that Eren’s like food, and you wanna eat him – _ohgodwhatamitalkingaboutimsorryletmestartover_ – I don’t – uh – presume to say that your reasons for wanting to be with Eren are like – that. Something for people to laugh at.”

_I don’t care if he gets you killed one day, but you should at least stop acting like you’re more than that._

“I don't really mind if they do laugh.” Mikasa found herself fighting off the urge to laugh herself. She thought of Annie, with her intrusive remarks; words sharpened better than any kind of steel, made to cut with precision and not carelessly. There was intent ( _like the kissing?_ ). Did she have some other intent, apart from provocation? ( _Did she want to kiss me at first?_ ) Did she – _no. Why think about that? Why think at all?_ “Thank you.”

"Hey, who cares what they think, right?" Sasha winked. "It belongs to you."

Her mind cast the image of Carla pressing her hand against Eren’s cheek, thumb brushing stray tears away. Soothing words, meant for him, now reached for Mikasa.

_It doesn’t have to matter to you what they think. But if it matters anyway, maybe it’s important to you. Choose what you do with it. Entrust it to whomever you wish. And no one can take it away from you again._

There was a dull ache in her chest. So hollow. She missed Carla. She hadn’t admitted it to herself in a while. It felt like a fresh cut, to add to the ones she already had.

She forced herself to come back, to tip her head above the water. _Breathe._ Sasha looked a little worried.

“Hey.” The redhead leaned over, and scooped her hands up in her own. “Whatever you do, I’m sure you know what you’re doing. I don’t know a lot –” she began to avoid Mikasa’s gaze, “– considering that I’m not that educated and all… but try not to lose yourself when you’re chasing something important.”

“Lose myself?”

Sasha turned a shade redder. “I – might have parted on bad terms with my pa – _father_ ,” she corrected herself with effort, “before I came here. I wanted – things, you know. _Important_ ,” she squeezed Mikasa’s hands, “things. I kind of regret it, because I was so caught up in… whatever I thought I knew… but I don’t think I can go back and apologize anytime soon.”

Mikasa had never known Sasha to be overly serious, for any reason at all (except food). The fact that she was now, and looking at her with such a pained, defeated look in her eyes, made Mikasa pay a little more attention. She knew little about Sasha's past, except for the fact that she came from Dauper Village, and she was suddenly very ashamed that despite spending three years with her, Sasha could have been a passing face in the crowd, had she not been so friendly with Mikasa.

"I feel awful," Sasha continued, "and I – I don’t want that to happen to you. Okay?"

 _This is different,_  Mikasa thought. _All I have is – Eren. All I have…_

 _And what about yourself,_ another voice answered, mocking and serious all at once. So much like Annie’s. _Forgot about that, did you, Ackerman?_

Sasha was saying something.

“What?”

“Oh – I was just – are you okay? You look a bit – was it something I said?”

“Sasha.” Mikasa turned her hands, to grip Sasha’s. “It wasn’t anything you said. I’m not sure why you told me all of this. But thank you.” She meant it.

Sasha blinked the moisture from her eyes. She tried to grin, but it never quite took.“Anytime, Mikasa.” She seemed to give up on smiling. “I’m probably going to aim for the Military Police, you know – if I manage to get into the top ten. I’m not like you, brave and fearless and all that –” _I have my fears,_ Mikasa thought distractedly, “– so maybe this is what I can do for you. For all the good it’s going to do. Maybe.”

Mikasa let Sasha pull her into a fierce hug.

“Try not to let him yell at you so much,” Sasha was mumbling into Mikasa’s shoulder. “Boys grow up but it takes, like, a million years longer than for girls.”

She reached around to pat Sasha on the back.

“I won’t. I won’t end up dead.” 

_Maybe Annie was right. Maybe I should tell her. See what happens._

“That’s not exactly what I said, but I'm not complaining.” Sasha grinned, sheepish. Mikasa found herself smiling back.

 _If only I could remember who Mikasa Ackerman was… before Eren. Before…_ She closed her eyes, and her mind to her thoughts.

She would have to do it one step at a time, blind and stumbling, if she had to.


	8. Partner (Reprise)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m counting on you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow wow wow IT'S ALMOST BEEN TWO MONTHS
> 
> firstly, i apologize for the delay! believe me, i've been fretting over leaving this story untouched for too long, but school took up like 95% of my time so i didn't get the chance to update or even get a single sentence out lmao. thankfully, i ended my semester last friday and i'm on a break until my internship starts next monday. crazy, i know. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your understanding and being so patient! here is the next chapter, having finished it in the last two days. you are all amazing, thank you for the comments and kudos and everything! 
> 
> (in any case, if i happen to delay updates again in the future, check my twitter @kaijuwhisperer in case i tweet about it or you can always drop me a message and remind me to get back on my ass and write!!!! i would love to hear from you wonderful people *^*)
> 
> here we go again :D

“You,” Ymir said, looking straight ahead at Sasha, “have got to be joking.”

Sasha swayed a little on the spot as the color drained from her face – just slightly so that Mikasa noticed. They had gathered the following night to tie up the loose ends of their intended breakout from camp, and while Reinhardt busied himself with devising the route they would take, and the tactical maneuvers, to ensure they wouldn’t die within a second of a Titan sighting, it fell to the girls to figure out how to escape and get through Wall Rose without alerting the entire region. A group of Titans killing men and women outside the Wall was no uncommon atrocity – Mikasa remembered the dullness of the people’s eyes as they looked on when Survey returned, defeated, from their countless expeditions – but a team of soldiers, greener than the lush forests that lay outside Trost, running rampant towards Titan territory would certainly raise some heads and attract attention. Fending off Titans wouldn’t be a problem in the slightest, but the prospect of having to fight fellow humans weighed heavy on Mikasa’s heart more than she could bear, a loose anchor in the ocean of guilt and going against all that she stood for.

Which was why when Sasha gave her suggestion, Mikasa wasn’t nearly as mortified as Ymir.

“It’s not a terrible plan,” Sasha put up her hands as though in surrender in spite of the defensiveness in her words. “If I caused some trouble in food storage, even the sentries wouldn’t just stand by and let me do it –”

“You realize this is going to have to be some extra level kind of trouble and not just missing rolls of ham,” Ymir said, crossing her arms.

Sasha’s eyes widened. Mikasa let out a soft sigh and met Annie’s disgruntled expression. So she really was thinking of stealing ham…

“And they can’t notice us leaving with a bunch of horses,” Ymir added, not letting up.

Sasha deflated a little. “I guess…”

Ymir opened her mouth again to speak, but before she could get a word out and before Mikasa could stop her, Sasha abruptly grabbed Ymir by the jacket and yanked the taller girl towards her. Her eyes seemed to sparkle and glitter in the lamplight, and her lips formed a goofy grin that was reminiscent of Connie. Mikasa could only imagine what kind of epiphany she must have had.

Ymir, on the other hand, didn’t manage to reach that conclusion. She grabbed Sasha by the wrists, her eyebrows coming down in furious arches. “What the hell do you think you’re –”

“I know what to do,” Sasha said quickly, eyes fixed on some indeterminate spot past Ymir’s face. She pulled the girl closer, unblinking. “I’m going to set the stables on fire.”

Mikasa stilled. Ymir’s mouth fell open.

“What?” Ymir’s voice had been reduced to a whisper. “What did you just say?”

“I said,” Sasha’s eyes turned back to Ymir, “I’m going to set the stables on fire.” A grin – full of madness and pure glee – flickered across Sasha’s face.

Mikasa stood up.

“Sasha,” Mikasa said, even. “You realize people could get hurt. And the horses –”

“We’ll have taken them way before I set the structures on fire!”

“And the people –”

“– aren’t stupid enough to run into open flame unless they’re moths –”

“– the damage done and cost accumulated –”

“– won’t matter once we bring back the cure –”

Ymir let out a sharp sigh, slicing through their exchange with finesse. “Alright, I’m going with Sasha’s idea.”

“It’s our only idea,” Annie said, speaking for the first time since they began their discussion. Her tone indicated no particular interest or agreement – just the usual flatness of perpetual resignation. Mikasa was beginning to think that the girl had something else to contribute, or perhaps she was going to shoot the idea down with one sharp no –

And then Annie let out a snort. The corners of her mouth came up in a little smirk – one that usually preceded a mocking jab at Mikasa.

“Just make sure that fire’s big enough.”

Mikasa blinked. _What?_

Sasha released Ymir and clapped her hands in delight. “My sentiments exactly – I didn’t know you were the adventurous type, Annie!” she said, grinning.

Mikasa couldn’t decide whether she was in some twisted form of reality that had Annie and Sasha agreeing on something absurd or whether she was letting her comrades set everyone up for a rather disastrous escape attempt. She caught the glint in Annie’s eyes and purposefully looked away, refusing to let her have the satisfaction she was looking for.

“Yeah, well, you’re definitely not doing it alone,” Ymir said, still dour. “If I’m going to piss on the Training Corps somehow, I might as well do it your way.”

“I could smell your desire to participate from a mile away,” Sasha said, smug and very pleased with their conclusion. “Come on then! Let’s get to work and find what we need.”

“What are you talking about,” Ymir stared at Sasha, not understanding. “All we need is a damn lamp.”

Sasha sighed and tugged Ymir along by the arm. “Be a little more dramatic. Let’s go tell the captain!”

They shuffled away, an awkward pair, and Mikasa found herself staring aimlessly into space. She could hear Reinhardt’s deep voice as he conversed with Reiner, and Eren’s grumbling somewhere in a corner as he spoke to Bertolt, poring over the map of Trost. They were plotting their route through the district to find the fastest way to the main gate.

They were trying their best not to fail.

Mikasa clenched her fists as a wave of remembrance came against her. The image of Armin, dead and in eternal slumber like Herman, struck her harder than any physical force could. Breath escaped her lungs and she swayed a little with imbalance. A hand pressed itself lightly against her back and she turned her head, meeting Annie’s serious gaze. There was a sliver of concern there, mixed with scrutiny.

“There’s no such thing as no risk if you want to win,” Annie said, so matter-of-factly that Mikasa thought she might have been reciting it from memory somewhere.

“I know that.” She turned and leaned into Annie’s touch a little. “Everything’s a gamble.”

Annie hummed in what sounded like agreement. The sound of creaking wood under the strain of heavy footfalls made Mikasa turn – Sasha was just disappearing through the doorway with Ymir in tow. She pursed her lips and glanced back at Annie, who held a look caught somewhere between uncertainty and amusement.

“It’s not like we have a better plan,” she reminded Mikasa, with a slight upturn of her lips.

They joined Reinhardt moments later, Mikasa deciding it was better that she familiarize herself with the intended route before she lost herself on the field. The Titans’ unpredictability was, ironically, something she could count on, and she would rather not take any chances. Not at this point in time, and probably not ever.

The captain’s brow was knitted in absolute concentration. Despite the coolness of the night, he was clearly perspiring though he cared little for it. He kept his eyes tightly on the map that detailed the outskirts of Wall Rose. He had circled their intended destination – a forest just several kilometers northwest of the main entrance. They had mentioned this before - a short enough distance to make it within a day, she recalled, but if they encountered Titans along the way…

“Survey’s venturing nearer and nearer to Wall Maria, the more they get out there,” Reinhardt finally said, after a moment’s deliberation. His voice was tired, worn. “Eren and I will have to deviate from the main group the _moment_ we get past Trost's gate if we’re going to cover ground fast enough. That means you'll have to lead them right away.”

“It shouldn’t be a problem,” Reiner said, grimly conversational. “All we have to do is ride in a straight line and cover as much ground as possible before the sun comes up, and we’ll head for the trees, like you said.” His eyes flicked up at Reinhardt. “I’m more worried about your two-man team, Captain.”

“I’ve got some flares in stock,” Reinhardt assured him, and glanced at Mikasa and Annie. “Survey will recognize them and respond – they would be irresponsible not to.”

“Yeah,” Reiner nodded, conceding. “The long distance formation, I’m guessing?”

Reinhardt turned to look at Reiner. “That’s about the only way they ever get so far into Titan territory nowadays. Their commander’s a real genius for strategy.”

“So I’ve heard,” Reiner said darkly. “Let’s hope they decide to abandon their expedition to help us out.”

“These men are from Survey. Not the Garrison or the Military Police. They’ve been facing Titans for years.”

“I guess so.” Reiner looked over his shoulder, decidedly convinced. “Eren! Bert! Are you guys finished?”

“Just about.” Bertolt smiled, looking a little too uncertain that it unsettled Mikasa. After a moment, Eren got to his feet and scooped the map into his arms before trailing after Bertolt, who settled down next to Annie. Eren kept his eyes down as he took the spot across Mikasa, in between Bertolt and Reiner, and rolled out the map of Trost.

It was messy – Eren’s handiwork, probably – but Mikasa could make out their intent – the eight of them would split into teams of two and take four different routes through Trost on horseback. It was a logical enough solution – if the Garrison or Military Police noticed anything out of the ordinary and decided to give chase, they would have enough space throughout to give them the slip, a far better scenario than if they were all clumped together on a lone route.

“Eren and I will distract the bulk of them to give the rest of you some room to move freely,” Reinhardt said, after taking some time to study the map. “I don’t want anyone getting arrested before we even leave Trost. Once you’re out in the open, they should stop chasing – provided that you have any pursuers at all.”

“Most likely,” Mikasa said, thoughtful. “They'll have sentries and the Wall patrol.”

"We should be careful not to falter, in that case," Bertolt said, brow creased with worry. "I don't want to end up fighting our own people."

"It won't turn out that way," Reiner said, frowning. "Just keep moving and we'll lose them once we're out of Trost. Remember that." Bertolt nodded and smiled gratefully at Reiner, who merely shook his head in response and returned his gaze to the map.

“Yes, we'll have to be quick about it if we want to get a chance at helping our friends here,” Reinhardt agreed, nodding. He looked up, and stared at each and every one of them in turn. “No hesitation. Do what you must with the objective in mind. Any more questions?”

When he was met with only hard gazes, full of resolution, Reinhardt nodded once more, half-smiling. “Well then,” he rose to his feet. “Let’s get out of here.”

* * *

The horses were surprisingly pliant, though they poked their large heads out of their stalls to observe the approaching humans, having been stirred from slumber. Their snorts and light whinnies came more out of curiosity than alarm or irritation, much to everyone’s relief, and they were all saddled up in record time. Only Eren seemed to be encountering the most difficulties, having selected a horse with the biggest personality. Mikasa could hear him grumbling under his breath to the sizable beast as he placed the saddle on its back and glanced over her shoulder to look; their eyes met for a moment before Eren quickly looked away, pretending to be busy with checking the stirrup iron on either side. She sighed inaudibly and returned to her own task, remembering that there was a chance that they would be spotted by sentries before they could make their move.

Mikasa fastened the girth last, taking care not to exert too much force lest she alarm her mare of choice; the beast seemed calm enough, though it eyed her rather indignantly for a brief moment as she placed the saddle over its back, as though it was offended that some human would want to go for a ride at such an ungodly hour. She could only offer it a hopefully soothing pat on its neck; the mare snorted, as though appeased with the little comfort Mikasa could offer it, and they were on their way, dirt and rock crunching and rolling underfoot from both horse and soldier.

Bertolt and Reiner handled two horses at once; Mikasa looked over her shoulder to see Sasha and Ymir finishing up the last of their preparations – which included splashing oil everywhere and tying a rope to the wooden support beam so they could ignite the fire from a distance – and felt a flicker of guilt in her chest, knowing what would happen to the stables in a few minutes. She tugged lightly at the reins to usher the mare at her side to hasten a little; she had the strangest feeling that these beasts would not take kindly to seeing their former home burn down, no matter the circumstances.

The moon hid behind the clouds that night, effectively providing the best cover they could hope for. Reinhardt had deliberately let slip that an important meeting was being held in the officers’ mess hall that evening, and the fruit of his deception was a significant decrease in sentry movement. Coupled with the thick darkness, they were making their escape rather easily – for now.

“Who’s stalling for time?” Mikasa could hear Reiner asking in a low rumble.

“Caleb,” Reinhardt replied, sounding a little sick. “I hope that when they find out what we’ve done, they won’t punish him too harshly for it.”

“He can pretend you tricked him too.”

“Well, let’s hope he thinks of that.”

They trod past the officers’ mess hall from a distance, and passed by the infirmary along the way. Mikasa looked to the windows, and found all the curtains drawn, as was the usual sight that greeted her every time she had come by. She could spot the faint flickering of firelight from within, and saw some shadowy figures moving back and forth past the window, probably tending to the sick’s needs –

A tap on her shoulder. Mikasa turned to see Annie by her side, clutching the reins to her horse, with a questioning look on her face. Even in the dark, Mikasa could make out her features clearly – or was that her memory serving her well?

“No point lingering,” Annie said, soft. “We do our part, and they’ll live.”

Mikasa swallowed with effort, and nodded. There was the slight brush of Annie’s fingertips against her hand, and then she was gone, treading ahead like she was paving the way for Mikasa, somehow, to make sure it was safe, or to reassure her that she was with her every step of the way.

Once they were at the edge of the camp, Reinhardt mounted his stallion. Everyone else followed suit; Mikasa stepped tentatively on the stirrup iron, testing to see whether the mare was bothered by her presence or not, and hoisted herself up to swing a leg over when the beast gave her an approving snort.

“This is it,” Reiner said over his shoulder. “Bert – give the signal.”

The tallest figure in the group turned, and raised his hand to his mouth. There was the sharpest, finest whistle Mikasa had ever heard, and within moments flame came to life in the distance, consuming the stables effortlessly. Fire roared and crackled, and above it there was the alarmed shouting of men, collectively getting louder as the seconds passed.

They waited.

Mikasa drummed her fingers against the head of the saddle, straining to peer into the darkness, as the fire grew larger and got out of control. She was beginning to regret her choices when two figures emerged from beyond, panting and heaving as they sprinted to their mounts.

“Go!” Sasha urged, and Reinhardt ushered his stallion into a sprint.

The thundering of hooves followed, mimicking the heart pounding in Mikasa’s chest. Gear clanked noisily in the night, but no one was around to hear them – they tore into the night, the wind catching in Mikasa’s hair as she lifted her eyes to the sky. The moon was beginning to peer over the clouds now, like a curious observer waiting to see what would happen next. Mikasa found herself wondering the same.

Another rider came up beside her, maintaining speed so that no one pushed ahead of the other. The wind whipped at Annie’s hair and hood, but it was Mikasa she was concentrating on.

“Stay close,” was all Mikasa heard before Reinhardt shouted for the group to form up. She tapped her mare lightly with her heel and it understood immediately, its gallops growing fiercer and faster to keep up with the rest.

“Definitely not how I imagined going back to Trost,” Sasha said, more to herself than anyone around her. “You okay, Mikasa?”

“Yeah,” Mikasa replied, nodding. The wind was growing colder – or was she becoming afraid? “Still here.”

“Wow, you sound really calm. I’m almost ready to piss myself –”

“Company, hold!”

Trost was within sight. The trip had been a short one, but Mikasa was fully aware that they still had a long way to go. As she came to a stop, she looked ahead and saw the flickering lights of Trost in the distance. The district seemed quiet. Asleep. _But not for long._

“Ride fast and in your teams,” Reinhardt instructed. “On my signal.” He glanced at Eren and nodded. “Eren, you’ll ride ahead with me first. Keep your eyes on me, understood?”

“Yes sir!” So eager, so determined. Mikasa felt a dull ache in her chest as she watched them go, realizing that it would be a while before she would see Eren again. She refused to think of the alternative, and gripped the reins a little tighter, as though they were her lifelines.

“Ready?” Annie said, so quietly she might have just been a passing breeze. She kept her eyes determinedly forward.

“As ready as you are,” Mikasa said, looking down at her reins.

“I’m counting on you.”

Mikasa blinked, and looked aside at Annie. “What?”

Annie’s lips curled, slightly. “I’m going to depend on you out there,” she repeated, irritation creeping into her voice. “Isn’t that what partners do? Or so you’ve been preaching for the longest time.”

“Right,” Mikasa said, mouth going dry. There was odd warmth in Annie’s words, like healing balm to a wound Mikasa didn’t realize she’d had. “We’re partners.”

Annie held her gaze for a long moment. “Good,” she finally said. “Do what’s necessary, in spite of what you feel. Remember?”

“I remember. ‘Stay in control of your emotions and you stay within the means to win.’”

Annie blinked, and a flicker of confusion touched her eyes. It melted away soon after into understanding and something close to relief. There was a brief smile that lasted such a short time that no one else noticed but Mikasa, like a secret whispered in quiet places, meant for only one.

In the distance, Mikasa heard a faint _pop_. The sky lit up, green.

“Let’s go!” Reiner yelled, already pushing his horse into a fast gallop. Bertolt followed close behind, and soon the next pair – Sasha and Ymir – went.

Mikasa met Annie’s eyes again.

“I’m going to depend on you too,” she said, at the last moment, and caught the look in Annie’s eyes before they broke into a fierce gallop, side by side.

It looked a lot like sentiment.

Mikasa was sure of it.

* * *

The Garrison soldiers were the first to respond. Mikasa could see a team of soldiers in the distance, chasing Reinhardt and Eren and shouting commands for them to stop. When their orders fell on deaf ears, the Garrison soldiers increased their momentum and sped ahead. An uneasy feeling crept up on Mikasa, but she had no time to worry about Eren’s safety – they had Garrison soldiers on their backs, as well. The loud hiss of wires shooting and crunch of hooks finding purchase grew louder, more insistent, and Mikasa beckoned her mare to move faster.

“We’re taking the left route,” Annie called out to her, just several paces ahead. She looked over her shoulder. “Eyes on me!”

As Reiner and Bertolt took the center path, Sasha and Ymir split off to the right, hooves thundering and echoing off the cobblestone. Mikasa guided her mare carefully, gripping the reins so tightly she could feel her nails breaking the skin of her palms; they made a sharp left turn and entered a dimly lit alleyway, just wide enough for fully-grown horses to pass through unscathed.

Mikasa kept her eyes on Annie’s back while keeping track of the hiss and snap of Gear just behind them.

“Hold up! Stop what you’re doing!”

“This is an order from the Garrison! You are not to leave Trost District without authorization –”

Mikasa tuned them out and concentrated on urging her horse into a faster gallop. The mare was beginning to take heavier breaths, and she could feel its entire body fighting to take in as much air as possible, the violent thrumming of power beneath muscle seemingly coming to its limit. The Garrison soldiers were getting closer. Mikasa looked over her shoulder – they were almost within an arm’s reach.

“Don’t worry about them!” Annie called out to her above the roaring of hooves against stone. “Keep your eyes forward!”

Mikasa obeyed, and forced herself to look ahead. They were passing through the merchant’s section now, and somewhere ahead the bell in the clock tower was ringing – _midnight_. Mikasa focused on Annie’s silhouette and gritted her teeth, the hiss and snap getting louder and louder –

“Get her!” one of them yelled, too close for comfort. “Just grab her and go!”

Mikasa’s heart leapt to her throat. She would have to stain her blades with human blood –

Annie twisted, and looked her dead in the eye. “Mikasa, duck!”

She obeyed again, and leaned over as a loud bang came from somewhere in front of her. The heat of the flare sailed past her, and she had to keep a steady grip on the reins to keep her mare calm.

“Flare gun! Watch out – argh!”

“Ansel!”

_A flare gun? When did she –_

She looked over her shoulder and watched the two Garrison soldiers shrink out of view. _Good_ , she thought rather belatedly. _Gear is meant to handle the Titans, not other humans_. Turning back to face forward again, Mikasa could see the light at the end of the tunnel – the main gate was just up ahead. Above, at the top of Wall Rose, Garrison soldiers were scrambling to cut them off by sealing the gate. She bent a little lower, closer to her mare, knowing that it would reduce air resistance as they moved. They would have to move fast and pass through the gate before it closed.

Annie seemed to have the same idea. They turned a sharp corner and then another again before they were on the main cobblestone path out into the beyond. Ahead, Mikasa could see Sasha and Ymir approaching the gate. She let out a breath she’d been holding when they passed through and escaped into the night, where no Garrison soldier would follow. She leaned even closer against her mount and beckoned it to go faster, one last time.

Annie had passed through – Mikasa gritted her teeth. She was the last one left. “Come on,” she murmured, stroking the beast’s neck. “Just a little further –”

Iron groaned and shuddered. The gate was closing. She could see Annie stopping just outside, turning around to wait for her –

_I’m counting on you._

Mikasa’s eyes widened as she watched the gate come tumbling down. _Annie_ – she looked ahead, watching Annie steer her mount to head back towards her. _No! No, don’t –_

She was half-aware that she was yelling at Annie to stop, above the roaring of the descending portcullis.

 _I can make it._ Mikasa closed her eyes. _I can make it._

As if sensing its rider’s distress, the mare let out a fierce neigh and kicked hard. The portcullis came down with a deafening crash and Mikasa’s heart all but stopped beating for a split second.

_I’m trapped._

She opened her eyes, and –

They were free. Annie was right beside her, looking absolutely relieved and angry at the same time, but they were free. Mikasa fought back the urge to smile but it seemed to show, judging by the flicker of alarm in Annie’s expression. Somewhere ahead of them, Sasha was whooping with delight.

She watched Reinhardt and Eren break off from the main group and head north as they turned northwest. The relief of escaping Trost evaporated too soon, too fast. Another battle lay ahead of them, and this time their pursuers were going to be Titans.

With a deep breath, Mikasa faced forward and what was surely coming for them, hoping with all her heart that they had not just, in fact, seen Trost for the very last time.


End file.
